mad at God, then not...
so yesterday i got news that some friends of ours had experienced what i would call a tragedy. at first, i though, why, God????? why would you allow this?? then as i was praying for them through my tears, i was reminded that God was also grieving the loss of this precious baby and was heartbroken for the pain it was causing the couple. SATAN is the reason this happened. in a perfect world (before sin) this would not have happened. sometimes i ask God why? because He seems like the one i speak to most after i hear of these sorts of things. sometimes He's an easy scapegoat. i just need to remember that it's not His fault and that i shouldn't blame Him. this may seem elementary to some, but it's sort of an epiphany for a girl who's been asking why? a lot lately...

friendship...
so, last night i was jumping in to some more organization of my disorganized house. i found lots of things...i'll admit it, i'm a packrat. i love saving every card, note, movie ticket stub, etc. believe it or not, i found some notes from junior high and high school from some friends (majority from about 4 friends). can i just say that I AM SO GLAD THOSE DAYS ARE OVER!!! i love these people to death, and though i don't see them much anymore (some no contact whatsoever) i do appreciate the times we had and i do treasure those friendships. why i'm glad they're over is because things were so petty back then. reading through them, i was taken back to my feelings of when i was in 8th and 11th grade. it's crazy how those feelings come back. i found one that was a response to a nasty email i had written to a best friend--it made me sick to think i had written something so rude and hateful and this was my friend's reply back. other notes were talking about other girls--petty stuff, again, rude. if this was what my life was full of, no wonder i was depressed/suicidal for some of the time. i did find some happy ones encouraging me. i kept those. i'm getting rid of--burning, to be exact--the other notes. it's a part of my life that i don't need to have on paper. i will remember the good memories and not keep record of the bad. i hope you all don't have a bad view of me now. i know we all go through the rude stage. i see now that i've grown up. sometimes you need that reminder. i pray i can help my kids see how hurtful words can be--both to the person they're about and even worse to the person who speaks them.

i just have to say that i am SOOOOOOOOOO thankful for the friendships i have now. they're not always perfect, but i don't think friendship is supposed to be. but i am so blessed to have you all in my life, and i thank God daily for the awesome friends i have. i seriously think i'm the most blessed girl in the world:)

happy thanksgiving!!!
well, my thanksgiving week turned into a fun one after pooh surprised me and came home. she was going to go to WA with a friend, but was feeling kinda homesick. we've spent a lot of time together. i miss sister time A LOT! there is definitely a void when she's up in moscow. i am looking forward to yummy food tomorrow at conrad's parents' house. should be a full house. my fam is coming too, so that's good. then pooh and i are going to be crazy and go shopping way early on friday. it's a tradition, and one i was sad when i thought i was going to have to give up this year if pooh wasn't home. maybe we'll see you at the FM sock sale, em! well, didn't have too much to say, just thought i'd write a little something. life is going better these days. about the whole boob thing...i decided some people just shouldn't be doctors. i'm probably just going to go back for a check in january. thanks for praying. hope you all have a wonderful thanksgiving!!!

bad monday...
so, i knew starting monday/the week off with a pap smear and breast exam weren't the greatest start, but i took the appointment at the health department so i could get it over with. i wasn't too nervous. no, they aren't my favorite pasttime, nor are the paper vests and paper blanket my idea of a comfy outfit, but i don't totally get freaked out or anything about the appointment. everything went normal as i filled out medical history and waited for the nurse. even the nurse's questions were the usual, as well as her invitation to get into the paper outfit and said she'd be back with the doctor. he started with the breast exam. did one, no problem. went to the other side, went back to the first side, and back to the other side and said "have you ever felt this before?" and put my finger tips where he was feeling something abnormal. yeah, there was a huge lump. "no, but i don't do self-exams or anything." he said, "i don't want to scare you, but let me go get my overseeing physician." tears welled up. i started crying as i told him my mom had breast cancer last year and my aunt the year before. he got the other doctor, and he came in and did the same thing. we talked options. i told him about mom/aunt. he said i had a depressed look in my eyes. i said, "yeah." duh. now we're talking options. i was going to ask about any help with prenatal planning, healthcare options, etc. instead, i'm planning options for what to do about the lump in my breast. go back in three months for another exam? see a general surgeon for their opinion/possible biopsy? mammogram? dr. rush said he didn't think it was something that he thought needed to be biopsied at this point. anyway. i get in the car after the hellish appointment and call conrad, bawling so hard i can barely talk. called my boss to tell her i couldn't come in today. drove to my parents and told my mom what was going on. now, i wait. what am i supposed to do? on the way to my parents' house, all i could say as i was hyperventilating/shaking/crying was "GOD!" over and over. i just got off the phone with the nurse and i'm not going to have a mammogram at this point. i continue to shake and fight emotion (freak-out). i know it could be this and that (cyst, growth, whatever), but the appointment was traumatizing, nonetheless. please pray for me, i desperately need God to do something--physically and emotionally. i don't know why all this crap is happening to us.

a little bit bitter...
i will admit, these days i'm a little bit bitter. with life in general. now, i won't go into details because i have not the energy or the time (and you all have better ways to spend you time than reading about why adriane's bitter). things are just happening, or not happening, and it sucks. sometimes i wonder what the heck this whole thing is all about anyway. for all of you thinking, you should read the How to be Free from Bitterness pamphlet from church, i got it at a garage sale for free. free things don't make me bitter. however, i'll read the pamphlet as soon as i'm un-bitter enough to get something out of it and have enough energy to make the effort. oh well, life goes on.

babies...
yesterday, i got a call that my friend nancy was in labor. i went up to the hospital and hung out for a while. her husband left for wyoming yesterday morning but some of her family was up there. i watched her push through contractions and saw the relief come over her as the drugs started to kick in...yay for drugs! i left for bible study about 7:00, and figured that since she was only 5 cm it wasn't likely that the baby would come too soon. i got a call at 8:45 that seren michelle was born at 8:00. i rushed up after bible study, hoping i could get in after 9:00. thank you, God, for letting me get in...even the dad almost didn't get in. i walked in to a roomwhere a beautiful mother was holding a beautiful little girl. 6lbs. 11oz., 20 1/2 inches. absolutely amazing. i got to hold her for a little bit (i was a little nervous because i've never held an hour old baby before...) and told her "God loves you" and "you're precious", then a nurse had to check some things. despite watching the pain nancy felt with contractions or the little horror stories you hear...i'm ready for a baby! what a miracle!

a beautiful day...

yesterday was a glorious day!! conrad and i went to SLC for a third day concert and david crowder opened for them. it was amazing!! i love concerts because you can feel the passion of everyone around you for the music...i truly believe music brings people together. we had an awesome time worshipping God and being in His presence. so this was the last part of our day...let me go back to the beginning...a couple we were good friends with from our pest control summer in DC live close to SLC and we arranged to get together with them. it was SOOOOO fun to see them and catch up--i can't believe it's been 2 years!! they have a 1 1/2 year old boy and a 4 wk. old girl. so cute! i love this couple, and they will always have a special place in mine and conrad's hearts. heather and i used to go to the gym and watch dawson's creek together in the am, and then just hang out till i worked. sundan and conrad were partners as they knocked doors. lots of hearts to hearts happen when you're with someone all the time and working an emotionally draining job. i've never seen conrad click so well with someone. as couples, we took weekend trips to ocean city, ate at red robin and went sight-seeing a lot, and sat under one umbrella on the national mall as we waited for the rain to clear on the 4th of july. we have lots of memories. when we were together it was like non-stop conversation and it was fun to catch up. i held baby elise most the time. conrad read a book to ryder. yeah, i officially want a baby!! can't help myself. k, God, give us wisdom on timing!! conrad had fun with the kids and we ended up hanging out for like 5 hours. hopefully they'll come to the farm this winter and visit, maybe come to church with us... they're lds, but not the snotty type. we all talk about religion and it's not taboo. i like open-minded mormons...i hope that came out right. anyway, it was a wonderful day, and probably the best thing was getting to be with conrad for 10+ waking hours in a row!!

no internet...
well, i just tried to upload some pics real quickly, but it wasn't quick, so there aren't pics tonight ladies and gentlemen. there are so many things i want to right about, but with limited internet access, it's hard to find time. i can't wait to get internet on the farm!!! it sucks that satellite internet is more expensive, but it will be well worth it. i just want you all to know that i haven't forgotten about you!! i'll write next week sometime...

annoyance...
so i just got done sitting at a local tire joint for 1.25 hours. i watched two episodes of reba on the tv and battled falling asleep (thank you rice at lunch). the only thing that kept me from falling asleep was the creepy school janitor that was eating popcorn and staring at me everytime i looked over. creeeeeeeeepy! and i think the worker lied to me about what happened. i went in wed. and they "fixed" something and that's why i was back today. i'm annoyed. i could've been working out. i could've been cleaning my parents' house (i told them i'd help since pooh's gone and dad's been buying stuff for our cars). and now all i want to do is eat pizza and ice cream. how's that for great coping skills? steph, fawn, where are you? come to my rescue so i can drown my sorrows.......okay, i'm done.

guess what i found?...
FRUIT PIZZA
Crust:
1 1/2 cups sugar
1/2 cup margarine
1/2 cup shortening
2 eggs
2 3/4 cup flour
2 tsp. cream of tartar
1/4 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. vanilla
*Mix well. Grease pan (a pan with an edge works best, not a flat cookie sheet). Spread dough in pan, leaving 1/2 inch around the edges. Bake for 10-15 minutes, or until golden brown, at 350 degrees. Cool.

Topping:
1 1/4 cup sugar
16 oz. cream cheese (the red. fat stuff works fine, too)
5 tbsp. fruit juice (can use juice from canned fruit)
*Mix well. Spread on cooled crust. Top with pineapple, mandarin oranges, strawberries, blueberries, peaches, kiwi, raspberries, mangoes, or any other kind of fruit. ENJOY!!

goodbye, pooh...
i said bye to pooh yesterday morning. i guess it was more like "see ya in a few weeks" since i'm going up to see her over labor day weekend (and melissa and fam!!), but it was still hard. i helped her pack all weekend and stayed the night with her monday night. we've always slept together before a big life change--the night before my wedding, the night before she moves from poky, you get the drift. it was fun to stay up late and have every possible minute with her before she moves 10 hrs. away. i know i'll see her often, but not often enough to go to dinner spur of the moment, run to walmart so she can get out of the house and we can bargain-hunt, or just watch some useless tv show together. i know it'll be good for her, and i'm praying continually for God's favor to be on her and for the Holy Spirit to be more real than ever in her life. i talked to her today and they moved into their apartment and were getting ready to go buy a cheap desk somewhere--the overestimating of the amount of stuff that could fit in the minivan has left her desk upstairs in the kitchen in poky. so far, the only thing she's asked me to bring when i go is her jack johnson nalgene bottle, not too bad.


p.s. melissa, i tried to call you last night to chat and to let you know pooh's in town, and couldn't get through on your home phone. would you mind e-mailing me your # and then i could also give it to pooh. thanks!:)

hello friends...
well, i was going to post some pics of our roomies, but can't find the cord to connect camera to computer. small problem. i was going to post the recipe for fruit pizza, but forgot to bring it from home and mom can't find it. so, these things will happen some day, i have not forgotten you!

i had a WONDERFUL weekend. went to boise with some friends and honestly haven't laughed that much in a year as i did over the weekend. as we were driving home, i was thinking, i think i have the best friends in the world. i hope everyone has what i have. i really am so blessed by the people in my life, and i know i take it for granted at times. i pray God will continue to remind me of my wonderful friends, and i pray i'm half the friend to others that my friends are to me. i think i'm going with pooh to get a tat today, if not today probably this week. if not today, i will be starting my new exercise regimen with the girls. God help me. well, next time i hope to have at least one of the two items you are all one the edges of your seats for:)

3 years already? only 3 years?
tomorrow is our anniversary, and it always makes me think back. was there a time i didn't have conrad in my life? obviously the answer is yes, but sometimes it feels like we have been together forever and have had this connection forever. has it really only been 3 years? again, the calendar says "YES" but it seems to have flown by. today on my drive in to poky, i was thinking about what i was doing the day before our wedding, etc. sometimes it's still crazy to me that i'm even married. then i get the question, "so do you have any kids yet?" or "are you going to have kids soon?" and i think--i'm not even used to the idea of being married yet! i am, but it's surreal sometimes. i don't know if this is making sense, but hopefully you can follow, i guess i'm just reminiscing. we don't have any big plans tomorrow. conrad's going to get off early (7 instead of 10) and i'm going to make dinner. then, we all know how the story goes... steph and sara asked if i was going to XA and i quickly responded "i have better things to do" :) luckily, we haven't heard mammals for a few days, so that's good. bats have a way of putting a damper on romance. nic killed 3 rockchucks last weeks. yeah nic!! well, i feel like i'm babbling, so i'll let you all get on with your blogging experience. i hope you all have a great day tomorrow, i know i will;)

FYI: in a year, the average person walks four miles making his or her bed. (from my snapple bottle...my question:how much time does a person save a year by not making his or her bed? that might make me feel a bit better about my # of times bed made equaling 5x/year)

margaritas and karaoke...
i will have to say that my last night (for a while) with a great friend was extremely fun. when i first heard the word "karaoke" i thought, it best be accompanied by margaritas:). come to find out, xbox has an amazingly fun game in which you create your own character and then compete doing karaoke into mikes hooked to the xbox. it was soooo fun. you all need to try it before you knock it. it sounds weird, i know. boise was fun. got some shopping in (breanne's fav part...) and ate at olive garden and red robin:) and relaxed. i guess the bad part was saying bye to angela. i feel like i'm saying goodbye a lot lately. first jeannie, ranae, then angela, soon pooh. i'm not sure if i like it. not like it's forever, but i just don't like it. change i guess. i handle it okay, i just don't like it.

update on the critters...one bat found thurs night, crispy on the outside of our house. one found fri. morning, live as could be in the dining room curtain. conrad rescued me. i don't burst out in tears anymore, but i still get annoyed by the other mammals inhabiting our home. nic is coming out wed. on his way to poky with "a small arsenal and some traps". he and conrad will have a great time getting the chucks, i'm sure. please be praying for no procreation of any sort on our property. that should get us through till we have a chance to fill with cement...

Trauma...life on Isaak Lane (warning, this sounds like a psychotic break, don't read if judgmental of psychoses)
as conrad woke up to go to work this morning, i heard the usual purring--or something, i don't know how to describe it, cooing maybe?--from the attic. as i was getting ready to wake up about 8:30, i heard the rockchucks running rampant in the inards (word?sp?) of our home, up down, all around. i was frustrated when i woke up. kinda depressed. this didn't help. i got daring and opened the door to the cellar, where the stink comes in (when i walked in last night, it was definitely pungent, annoying!). i had a flashlight cuz the light doesn't hit the landing at the top, and what did i see, but tons of poop!!! i'm grossed out, disgusted, annoyed that my house reeks, etc., etc. i went on a walk to settle down and get my bearings. as i listened to the worship music on my shuffle, it got a little better, but still annoyed. i did a few things to get stuff ready for angela's party tonight and church picnic tomorrow. i took one load out to my car and came back in, went to the kitchen for something and back around through the dining room. what the heck was that big black mass crawling in front of my front door? first thought--tarantula. a second later after i looked closely--a bat. i screamed a blood-curdling scream and started bawling. i didn't know what to do. i didn't want to touch it, cuz they have disease. but it's crawling all over my living room floor. i started hyperventilating and called conrad's phone. he didn't answer so i kept screaming and crying all over the house trying to figure out what to do. MY HOUSE IS INFESTED!!!! i found a box and put it over the bat before it crawled under my loveseat and put a hose on it to weigh it down. conrad called back only to talk to his hyperventilating crying hysterically wife who told him there was a bat in the house. as i was talking to him, i was looking in the dining room and saw some black marks on the wall close to the ceiling and told conrad about it, thinking it may have been where the bat's been. i'm standing three feet from the window, look down, and scream into the phone and start crying even harder, and yell "there's another one!!!!!!". there's another bat sleeping behind the curtain, hanging from the casing. at this point, i'm ready to move out with the cows. conrad said to just leave and he'd call his uncle. we hung up, i grabbed the rest of my stuff and got the hell out of that house. one would have to wonder, do humans even live there? yes. are they controlled by animals? yes. so i drove to poky and about halfway caught my breath and stopped crying. i was mad and grossed out. how many more bats and other things are there? why does my house have to be infested? it's sick. conrad called later to say his uncle is looking for a fumigator. hopefully we'll get to the bottom of this animal problem. until then, please pray for my emotional stability.

diet berries and cream dr. pepper in a frozen cup...
one of my favorite things in life, always brings a smile to my face:) i came into poky today cuz i had cabin fever so my sister and i went shopping and to lunch before she had to work. i had a five day weekend and am on day 4 and haven't accomplished that much. before the weekend started, i had BIG plans of all the things i could get done. but here i am with 1 1/2 days left and maybe half of them got worked on a little bit. oh well. i feel rested and i've been pampering my rash. i think it's getting better with drugs and running around the house with my shirt rolled up so no fabric touches it. yesterday was conrad's birthday so we ate pizza and then went to the river to play on the boat and sea doos. yeah, swimming suit right after eating isn't my idea of an ideal situation either, but it worked out ok. he had a good day, and was able to really let go of farming stress and have fun for a day. it was great to see him so laid back and laughing so hard when we were on the sea doos and soaking ranae and josh. he's so cute:) tomorrow we're going to go on a day road trip with his fam i think and then watch fireworks in poky. i don't know if it'll be with his fam or friends. i have my preference but we'll see what happens. hope you all have a wonderful 4th!

God looks on the inside, but man, i'm sure feeling the outside!!
so a few weeks ago i noticed three small red dots on the left (my left looking down on it) side a little over from my belly button. they were a little itchy, but nothing major. a week later, my stomach was full of those red dots and itch soooooooooooooooooo bad!!! a week later (today) i'm in agony as i try to keep my prying fingernails away from my itchy belly, right (again, my right, looking down on it) thigh and hip, my forearms, and other places that we'll not mention (it's not exactly what you're thinking, i'm sure). plus i have sporadic ones on my calves (don't worry, i only shaved over 20 of them) and they're creeping up my back. the one on my stomach, as of one second ago is slowly becoming one big mass, about 1 x 3 inches. i'm so itchy and i'm feeling disdain for being in my skin right now. what is wrong with me?!?! my sister says "go to the dermatologist" my coworker says "my chiropractor has this stuff...." so my question is, how am i going to go, with my good looks? this is a downside for not having insurance. i'm going to try an oatmeal bath (if i get the time), benadryl and zantac. the latter two are supposedly a wonderful mix that hits both histamine receptors (glad dad's a pharmacist). pray for my skin please. it's worse with the hot weather. i just want to sit at home with my big belly hanging out with ice all over me. oh yeah, and my right big toenail is falling off (well, just 1/3 of it...but still...maybe God's giving me a lesson on vanity!!! thanks for listening to my bodily news!

life in the country...
so i'm still getting used to living in AF, i was telling julie last week that on tuesday night when i was taking the exit, i thought to myself--i'm getting used to it out here, and i like it out here. yeah, i have to do a little more planning to hang out with friends, wake up earlier to get to curves/work, and can't just go to walmart when i need to pick up something, but i do like my new home and my new town. when i went to the thrift store, the lady said, "hi honey, how are you," because she's seen me before. it's more personal. on friday my dad and i went hogwild in the flower department at fred meyer. i got some lilies, hydrangea(sp?), and some other cute flowers, and went to work planting them sat. morning after my walk. gardening is so peaceful. that was until i was on my hands and knees and a huge rodent ran out from underneath the house about a foot from my hand. i screamed, it stopped and looked at me with huge eyes. the rockchuck (maybe two words? maybe hyphenated?) and i scared each other almost to death. then it ran around the house and i followed it asking in my sweetest, don't bite my cankle rockchuck voice "what are you?" at this point, i was still to startled to think this animal was one of the rockchucks conrad and josh had been talking about hunting with guns. i'll have to admit it was cute. they're about kiki's size but with stubby legs and they waddle cuz they're fat. and, i think they are what's been eating my blooms. grrr. i saw a ton from there on out over the weekend. when conrad came home for lunch, we heard something at the top of the stairs to the cellar. conrad went to investigate, and i went, barefooted, down the stairs behind him, watching my step very carefully and making a mental note not to step in the pile of rockchuck crap on one stair. the animal stared at us as we stared at it, then we headed back up, as i was kinda scared of having bare feet in this area of the house. i got to the top of the stairs and into the dining room and noticed my foot wasn't moving as free as usual. oh, that's cuz i stepped in the pile of crap!! i screamed and conrad came to the rescue. i was grossed out. conrad called someone to get some poison. i went to pick it up and luckily before i bought it i asked how to use it. he said, "just light the fuse and put it in the whole." i said, "what if the holes are under/in our house?" he said, "mmmm...probably don't wanna use this." cool. so i don't know what we're going to do. i swear, i've had more wild varmit interactions in 3 months than in my whole life. the foxes have moved though, giving the rockchucks more room to grow their families... oh!! something cute... last night i went with conrad to move a wheel line and in the cover over the motor there's a robin's nest with 3 babies. they still have their eyes closed and just a tiny bit of fuzz. when we looked in, they opened their mouths and made little sounds. i'm going to try to take some pics. they were soooooo cute! well, i've babbled enough. i guess i just have a lot to say about my weekend, it was a good one... have a good week everyone!

stay with me...
so i drove to work today as i typically do, stopping at walmart to do some stuff before work (i definitely recommend 7:30 am to do returns/any other shopping at walmart). i dreaded the week starting, paperwork, coming up with groups, errands--which i never seem to run out of--and basically feeling like i'd be okay with just staying in AF and going with conrad for the day. work started out normal. ate breakfast and read through the sunday paper and talked to the clients. the clients started playing bingo and i sat at the desk. all the sudden i heard a gasp and moan and looked up and one of the clients who's in a wheelchair was slumped back with client's head hanging over the back. the secretary looked up but then back at her work. it didn't look normal to me so i went over to the client and asked if they were okay. client couldn't answer me and was struggling to breathe. i rolled client out of the group room saying cheerfully, "let's go get some fresh air." i rolled client to the front of the building and started talking, saying client looked beautiful today, did client eat breakfast?, are you in pain? client couldn't respond, just kept gasping. the secretary came out with the phone and i said that i think we need to call 911. she did and they sent an ambulance. those 3-5 minutes or whatever seemed like an eternity and i was praying client didn't die in front of me. at one point client said to me bearly audibly "i don't feel good honey." my emotions were running rampant. it's amazing how attached you get. i just kept rubbing client's arm and saying, "stay with me, stay with me." her eyes rolled back and closed, but i kept talking and got client to respond. i kept telling client that help was on the way and client would nod. ambulance go there and asked a bunch of questions. i answered some, but got choked up and started crying. this was how my grandma manske was one of the last times i saw her--unaware of surroundings, couldn't talk. luckily the secretary and other social worker came out and answered more questions. tears were rolling out the clients face as they took client to the ambulance. we had to have a group session to process this with the other clients. thank you, God, that two master level SWs were there to lead that. after this, the day actually got better and turned into a good monday. in the afternoon, we learned client was being released and nothing had come back abnormal. i don't know what the heck happened then, but i literally felt like client was seconds from death when i was with client. i'm thinking maybe client was dehydrated? client came by afterward in van and i opened the door and when client saw me client go a big smile and said loud and clear "hi darling!" and grabbed my arm. client looked well and was excited to hear that bowling day is tomorrow. i'm so glad i have God in my life to help me through these emotional times. i have a note steph gave me a while ago in my work bag, and i read that about 5 times today, too:) it all turned out okay, though i still have flashbacks of grief for my grandma. i guess it's only been about 5 months ago, but it's still hard. and i found out thursday that our vacation to vancouver, wa was cancelled b/c my grandpa can't trust his health enough to buy a plane ticket months in advance. so, i'm thinking last summer was the last time i'll see my grandpa too--i was really counting on this trip to bring some closure with my grandma and with him, since his health is bad and minnesota is over $400 away. death sucks. not in the eternal aspect, but i think you all know what i mean...

i'm the fluffy punch server...
so on thursday i watched our wedding video--erin, you did such a great job! it was bittersweet. watching my grandma manske being escorted down to her seat and then later reaching up to give conrad a big hug in the receiving line had me bawling like a baby. but i'll have to say, we were so blessed to have her there. she was struggling the whole time with her breathing and the elevation. i'm the only grandchild that she got to see get married since i'm the oldest. on a lighter note.... it was fun to see my hottie man (i hope tayler gets the same:) --for all of those at tayler's celebration...) totally engaged in me and lookin' good in his tux. it was also fun to see all the people who came to help us celebrate. at one point in the video, darin went up to adrianne and said, "who are you?" adrianne replied with her adrianne grin, "i'm the fluffy punch server!" it made me laugh out loud. she's so cute, and i miss her!! i'm so blessed to know so many great people, even though we move on to different spots in our life. i saw nancy in the video and God convicted me to stop being lazy and call her. i hadn't talked to her in like 14 months, so i called her that night and we got together friday. anabelle is 2 years old today. i can't believe it! she's so dang cute with curly brown hair and her lovable personality. she came right to me and wanted me to hold her and then she hugged me and laid her head on my shoulder. nancy's expecting again in october and very excited. her husband has a good enough job that she can stay home, so that's good. anyway, i better get going. we're going to have a few people over to pray over our house today and i need to get some stuff done, including making rhubarb crunch:)

unhappy.
so, i know i've been posting some unhappy blogs lately, but it's basically post the real stuff, or not post at all. i don't know what's going on with me, but i've just been down lately. i will have to say that having sara call me and invite me for pizza last night made me VERY happy:) and seeing fawn and steph...who i haven't seen for weeks. that's about the extent of happy in my week. i don't know. i'll have to say, my clients make me happy sometimes... they're very real and cute. i spent today with my sister. usually i don't drive to poky on fridays, but since i took a sick day wed. and horizontal all day long, i decided to make an exception. she and i can handle each other in any mood. thank God for pooh! i was in a very bad mood and everything was driving me nuts, but pooh stayed calm and just let me vent. there's something about a sister that allows one to be totally themselves, no cover-ups. not that i try to cover stuff up, but it's naturally easier for me to be absolutely real with her. well, this isn't very uplifting, again. i'm sorry. please pray for me that i don't go insane!

lies...
why do we choose to live with lies? i don't know. it's easier at first i guess, than dealing with the truth and changing our thinking patterns. dying to ourself. i met with julie on tues. she's such blessing, and i can honestly say i don't know what i'd do without her. she has so much wisdom and is so open in sharing the struggles in her past as they pertain to mine here and now. she understands stuff i think that no one ever could. basically, i'll be getting prayer ministry all summer. yippy. sounds like fun. not really. but as my favorite kareoke (sp?) says, "I will survive!" i am ready to be free. it's so frustrating living with all this crap.

i'm saying "see you later" to a jeannie this saturday. that's going to be hard. luckily, i'll be with fawn and sara so we can be each other's shoulder to cry on. man, my life sounds depressing. next time it'll be happier, i promise. and soon we might have internet, so i'll have some time to get some pics uploaded... that'd make me happy. i have a good one of pooh and a fat cow on her head.

the blahs...
the post-retreat blaws. time for life again. i'm suffering with 'em. sara and i got to go to a ladies retreat to watch julie speak. she did awesome! it was fun to meet all the cute ladies, especially a few sister lily and some of the younger girls shawna, regina, and rachel. i felt like we were very welcome and they were ready for God to do a change (some open to a bigger change than others...). however, i had a lot of crap come up that i wasn't ready to deal with. i know it'll be better when i do, but i'm complacent right now. it seemed like every time i might have a chance to talk about it, something happened... sister nellie came in with a cute baby, talking briefly in the car and arriving at destination, etc. i'm not good at just being like, "hey guys, i have issues, listen to them, pray for me." in fact, i deny them and don't look people in the face. joanna said something in passing that totally hit home with me, and now it's rolling around in my head, unresolved. i downplayed it, but it's really a huge part of my life right now. that's one thing about prophets, you can't hide your discomfort, need for prayer, etc. but i ran from the topic. now here i am at my parents' house about to head home (in separate cars from conrad cuz my car was hear already and he met me). wishing i didn't have to go to work in the morning. wishing i could just sit alone and cry. what's wrong with me. why do i have to be so prideful? no, no, i'm okay. i have it all together. yeah right. julie was saying on the way to the retreat, "this probably won't be a spiritually significant retreat for you," just cuz of the background of the denomination it was and whatnot. it was stuff she's talked about before. but stuff i deal with. stuff i haven't made a change from. God help me. some how, some way.

wildlife
last night i got home and was like "what is that movement by my front door? rabbits? kittens?" nope, none of the above. i immediately called conrad upon his "hello?" yelled, "honey, there's three baby foxes playing by our front door!!!" i was scared to get out of the car cuz i didn't want them to attack me. they actually got scared when i opened the door and ran into their hole, which happens to be under our house. they were soooo cute playing and rolling around like kittens. unfortunately, they live under our house, so we have to get rid of them. anyone know of a humane way to do this?

what's in a vow?
everyone must be feeling the blogger blues. no one's writing much lately, maybe we're all too busy? anyhow, i really do like having a place to post things and i know people reading them care. conrad told me some sad news yesterday. i'll give you some background of the last 9 months or so in his immediate family: his mom had a weird episode last summer where she blacked out, and some other weird stuff i'm not sure of the details. after that, she was never the same (according to conrad, sister, dad), and had trouble remembering things, etc. she went to 3 different drs. and no one could find anything (doesn't seem they looked too hard). this same weird thing happened about 2 months ago. after some tests, they found she'd had a stroke sometime in the last 36 hours, and they figured that was what had happened during the summer. the whole family's been struggling with this change. his mom hasn't been able to work as much farm-wise, which is a huge blow. and she doesn't really remember to do housework. she's struggled with being depressed. everyone else seems to be frustrated with her not being able to remember things and being "different". she's getting better, but there's still stuff they're all dealing with. anyways, to get to why i titled my post this is because on the phone yesterday conrad said it had been a weird day. i asked why and he said his dad's been really depressed and mentioned separating from his mom. immediately i felt anger rise up. how could he even think of doing this? i asked conrad, "did you ask him if he remembered taking any vows 25 years ago?!" it made me mad all night. i hate how people just throw marriage around and don't think their vows count anymore after x amount of years when things get rough and love doesn't come as naturally. i think if i saw his dad right now i'd just explode on him. so basically what i'm asking is, will you please pray for conrad and his family? and kind of keep in on the down low--nothing's definite and i'm PRAYING some of these things said by his dad were said out of frustration, not seriousness. love you guys!!

if i would've had a shotgun...
i didn't sleep well on sunday night because the cows were bellerin' ALL NIGHT LONG!!! i seriously wouldn't have been held responsible for any cow deaths occurring that night if i had a shotgun. i went to walmart monday and picked up a 10 pair pack of earplugs.

i had my first friends over this past weekend to warm my new home. it was way fun to have people over, and i'm looking forward to more in the future. we're still finishing up on the details and decorating, etc. but it's coming right along. it's starting to feel like home. conrad and i watched iron jawed angels on sunday. it's soooooo good, i'd highly recommend it. i had heard a lot about it in my women's studies courses and saw it at the library last week so i picked it up. free movie rental, good movie, what more could you want? anyway, it's about the women's suffrage movement and the women who were relentless in getting US the right to vote. it was historically accurate, as far as i could tell, and had great actresses. it's so crazy to me that women have only had the right to vote for less than a hundred years. it's something i think we take for granted. i was thinking during the movie "would i have stood up to society and put myself out there so passionately to fight for this or would i have sat back, complacent, comfortable, content?" it's kinda the same way with telling people about God. people lack passion, it's scary, pushes us out of our comfort zones, and though we can see a wonderful end-result, we (I) sit back complacent, comfortable, content. pretty convicting for me. one of my favorite parts of the movie was when they get sent to a jail and are standing there naked and you see them all from the back and their butts are not perfect, there's big ones, small ones, dimply ones, white ones. basically, thank you to whoever chose the butts for this scene because it doesn't advocate the usual hollywood "perfect" body. and.... butts are funny :)

now that I'm 23...
i haven't blogged forever, and i guess it's time to do so as the first time since i've turned 23. i had a good birthday. sunday i went to red lobster with the fam and then conrad took me to soak in lava hot springs. this made me very happy! yesterday, my actual birthday, was fairly uneventful (a downfall of getting older i think...), but i did wake up to conrad'd grandparents calling and singing "happy birthday" on my voicemail (i was in the shower when they called) and had cheesecake and another birthday song at work. my clients sing their hearts out and i love it... one place i don't get embarassed by being sung to but actually feel special when they sing. the Center gave me some star-gazer lilies... i love lilies and they add some life to my house! i went to visit pooh at honks and then went home and worked on stuff till conrad came home. his grandma and uncle stopped by and gave me a present. they are so thoughtful. conrad took me out to dinner to pizza hut (actually carry-out, because at 9:40 on a weeknight in AF, that's about your only option) and it was delicious. and i got lots of voicemails from friends:) okay, so it wasn't a bad birthday, now that i look back on it. there were a couple sad moments, okay, maybe just one. i was getting ready and telling conrad how cute his grandparents were for calling on bdays and singing, and thought my grandpa doesn't probably even know it's my birthday. my grandma manske was always the one to remember and sent a nice card, so he kinda counted on her to remember, it's probably that way with a lot of grandparents...? but after i got over this, i moved on and had a good day.

one thing i've been thinking about a lot is pride. what a disdainful quality it is... and i have it. yucky!! i keep getting stressed cuz i want our house to be in order and feel like home. but there's this and this and this to do. i'm thinking of all the times people have offered to come and help at our house, help move, etc., and i've turned it down because my house isn't settled or it's a job i don't feel someone else should have to do for me. i haven't decorated, i don't have rugs in the bathrooms yet, there are box-elder bugs, the windows take forever to clean, etc. but these people who've offered DON'T CARE about these things! anyways... it's kinda weird cuz it plays out in my relationship with God, too. i think i need to have everything figured out, then i'll spend time with Him and allow Him to speak into my life. i don't know. it's kinda frustrating. God, take the pride away!!

p.s we have two couple day-old calves around our house. they're adorable, and yes, i talk to them and tell them that:)

Mating cows...
so, i officially live on the farm. i woke up this morning at 6 a.m. to bellerin' cows. grrr. not into that. i asked conrad why they were being so noisy and he says, "i don't know." i said, "are they hungrier than usual because it was rainy all night and they used more energy to stay warm?" he said, "probably." so who sound more farm-experienced here:) then, i was leaving for work and looked across the land, and not more than 50 ft. away were two mating cows. just what i like to see in the morning. then, i had to lay on the horn to get the cows to get out of my way so i could get to work. i've gotten more to where i like them and think they are not a nasty animal like i used to. are they cute? yeah, most the time. but not when they're: in my way, pooping, or mating. another reason i know i live on a farm...i just talked to conrad, and he's in his truck waiting for his cow to have its calf. calves are cute.

Saying NO to complacency!
My mom gets these emails every day and sent this one to me... I think it applies to what a lot of us are feeling we're up against lately...

"WHAT THE LORD IS SAYING TODAY - March 17, 2006 Ras Robinson
No mountain too big. In this life, you will have
mountains that you cannot move. They will block your passage and hinder your
journey. You have learned to live with them as they block and hinder you. But I
say unto you, troubling mountains must go from your life or else you
will never reach your destiny. You say it is impossible to move the mountains.
These are your words, not mine. My words to you are to reach down deep for
the mountain moving faith I have given you. Your impossibilities become my
certainties. I am the God of impossibilities. Throw yourself on My mercy and
wisdom. Follow what I tell you with pinpoint obedience and see the mountains
moved into the sea. No mountain too big.

Matthew 17:19-21 "Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said,
"Why could we not cast it out?" And He said to them, "Because of the littleness
of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it shall move; and nothing shall be impossible to you. ["But this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting."]"

God, help us to have this kind of faith!! That we would live out our full destiny and not bow in defeat to these mountains. We will not be complacent, but will stand in God's promise to help us out when we're dealing with these things in our lives.

i've been a slacker...
sorry i haven't written for a while. as i said before, we don't have internet yet at our home and so it's hard to find a chance to write. moving is going well. i guess we're moved, but just not settled, but i feel more settled in my spirit/soul, which is good. my parents and pooh are coming over tonight to see the house. they haven't seen it since it was yucky, so it'll be fun for them to see and i'll make some dinner. our first of many guests! we'll have more people over when we have more settling in taken care of, and the bridge is functioning, etc. then we'll have a big shindig!! melissa, if you can stop over when you're in town, that'd be great, but if not i understand, since there's a time constraint... there's always next time, right:) well, i'm sorry to be so brief, but conrad and i have things we need to do in town before going home and getting ready for my family. i'll try and write during the week. i love you all!!

every seven minutes...
as i wait here for the time to come to go get my face zapped again, i decided it would be a great time to write, since i'm at my parents' house and we don't have internet at our house yet. every seven minutes i have to get up and go put more lidocaine on my face to numb it through and through, kind of a pain, but well worth it. i had a good weekend. we stayed the night in our house on friday night for the first time, and though we froze our butts off, it was good. we went to salt lake on saturday for a jazz game. i had bought conrad tickets for christmas and i think God knew the perfect weekend for us to go, because it was great to get away from the chaos for a few days and spend time together, since we haven't seen a lot of each other. my prime love language being quality time, i think that was some of why my emotions have been out of whack. and the fact that i'm feeling some burn-out from work. there's just something about taking on all these people's emotions that wears me out and i'm so ready for a day off-more than just a weekend. i got to my parents' house yesterday and my mom could tell i had a bad day and i just burst out in tears, and continued to bawl as i hauled in stuff from the car. i'm overwhelmed by everything and don't really know the answer. i want to be settled. i wonder sometimes, will i ever be settled? how long will it take? how will i get to that point? and not just physically in moving, etc., but in my emotions, in a routine with spending time with God everyday, etc. well, i'm running out of things to write, or that i want to write and publish. i'll write again when i have a chance. until then, i love you guys!

it's just a little juicy...an ordinary life
so an ordinary life is something i soooo do not have. we moved our stuff to our new house yesterday. poor conrad hauled all our stuff upstairs (he thought we had half as much stuff as we do) to the garage so when his uncle and grandma got there we'd just toss it in the back of the horse trailer. yes, the horse trailer. i was assured it was totally clean and washed out since last time they hauled cows, but when his uncle opened the door and i heard the words, "it's a little juicy" i looked over and, sure enough, it was juicy. cool, i thought, i get to put all my stuff in a poopy horse trailer to travel to american falls. i have to admit i was not impressed. i ran into the house and yelled, "mom, do we have any plastic or comforters to cover our stuff?!" luckily, she came to my rescue, and the poop turned out to be dried out rather than juicy. but still, i am left to ask the question, "am i ready for farm life?" honestly, i do not know. God, help me!! it leads into how i've been feeling these past couple days. i've been depressed and not really knwoing exactly why, but feeling like i'm on the verge of tears. i woke up yesterday with a strong feeling of not wanting to go to church. i don't know why, but i just wanted to skip out and sleep. even at church it was hard for me to get past the heaviness. then rod talked about laying heaviness aside and went into prayer time. i raised my hand for prayer and had a handful of wonderful people gather around and pray for me. i felt a little better after this, but like i could've bawled for hours if i hadn't been in public. i don't know what's going on and i really don't like being out of control of my emotions. i hate how something that's supposed to be exciting--moving out of parents' house, moving into a house, etc.--is something that stirs up a lot of weird emotions. i don't know. prayer would be much appreciated right now as conrad and i make this transition.

something clever...
i keep lagging behind in my blogging!! and as far as a title for today's...nothing popped in my head, but i was, in fact, hoping for something clever to title my entry. i'll have to say i LOVE reading everyone's blog and hearing what's going on with everyone... melissa being a mom (a sick mom right now:( i'm praying for you), sara spending her mom's not yet won lottery money on a coffee (bleh!) shop (how bout ice cream? jk), steph and her bouts with technology, erin and her drunk uncle (um, yeah erin, i have a few of those, and drunk cousins and aunts...), and fawn's early morning nature epiphanies. so nothing too great has happened over the past few days. it's thursday and i feel like it should have been friday 3 days ago... ever had one of those weeks?

we're moving this weekend, at least the majority of our things. i'm actually getting kind of scared. things will be different out on the farm and i'm afraid of having the same feeling i had in D.C. 2 summers ago when i was lonely and wasn't even willing to give God some of that alone time. we spent time with the in-laws last night after paying taxes (AHHH! don't get me started on the large sum we wrote over to uncle sam--we honestly could've bought a car!). we went to arctic circle and i found myself getting frustrated. i love them all to death, but sometimes when we get together, it feels like a bashing time. i rarely hear of good things people are doing, but a lot of bad. i guess that comes with the small town thing, but i don't like it, so i just sit there, silent. something happened to a man that they know, and i'm friends with his daughter. i saw her on tuesday and she said nothing to me about this situation, but it's another ugly sin thing, and i found myself on his side, wanting to stand up for him against conrad's family.

i realized again what an ugly thing sin is, and not that this sin is worse than that sin, but that God sees it all the same way--something wicked that keeps us from experiencing His fullness. i think we often gauge a sin by it's natural consequences as to how bad it is. i'm broken that even us as christians look at sin this way, and that we point fingers and make judgments instead of coming along side the person knowing it could've been us in that same place. no one is above sin!! i think of patricia king and what i heard her talk about in nov. 2004 and mar. 2005 and both times she prophesied that the church was being called to a higher level of purity, and that satan was getting more deceptive and delving into those dark places where sin is easy to hide. not that we should be afraid of that, but take up the armor and be prepared when temptation comes. as i'm at arctic circle and this situation comes up yet again, "he knows better" "he has a wife and 4 girls" "they were going to start a church" "they've always acted like they're holier than though" "i hope he asked for forgiveness", i just wanted to scream "what you're doing is as bad in God's eyes!!!". i kind of feel like i'm starting to sound like a brat, but i will say i recognize this same shortcoming in my life. maybe God is using this to show me how distasteful this kind of talk is. i don't know, but i've never felt so much passion about defending someone who did something that, in human eyes, is repulsive. i am humbled by the fact that even my deepest darkest sins are not broadcasted in the newspaper or in any public way. i am thankful that i worship a God of restoration. God is so full of grace, and i know i take that for granted. God, please continue to teach me!!!

Back by popular demand!!!
i'm just kidding, i just thought it was a nice touch since i haven't written in over a week and melissa said she missed it:). this past weekend, i went to american falls to work on our house. i'm so impressed with how it's coming along! it's a beautiful house with a mix of old and new. from the outside, it looks fairly new (the linoleum man asked if it was a new house...), and of course, there's indoor plumbing, etc. but my favorite parts are the dark wood pillars and banister against the freshly painted white walls and the original doors that have been freshly stained/varnished, complete with old-fashioned doorknobs and skeleton keyholes. this part of the house brings you back to the late 1800s when it was build. conrad's grandma said the house was old when she was a kid. crazy. we should be moving in starting this weekend with some little stuff and getting some bigger things (i.e. furniture, washer/dryer, etc.) in during next week. by next weekend we should be sleeping in our own house!! this makes me very happy:). i will have to admit that i've been bitter at times for having to live in my parents' house because i felt as though i'd been jipped. but looking back on it (it's easier with a light at the end of the tunnel), it's been a good thing that we've lived here. my sister was talking the other day with some friends and said conrad and i have been her sanity (since starting college and being upset she's had to live at home). also, with my mom's cancer it's been good that we've been here, both for her sake and probably moreso for mine. my dad's depression has been stirred up more and more since life has taken some grieving turns, and one night he asked my mom, sister, me, and conrad to pray for him (yeah, God!!!). so, when i look at it this way (the un-self-absorbed way), it's been a season in itself... one i never pictured myself having, but i'm glad it happened.

Hooray for wonderful friends, booo to graveyards!!
So today at church I was talking with some friends and not seeing Conrad very much, especially lately, as he's worked 4 graveyards in a row and 2 nights (or mornings, rather) he just stayed in American Falls to sleep so he wouldn't drive up and back just to sleep and see me for 5 minutes before I went to work. She commented, "I don't know how you do it." I replied, "I don't either, but part of it is having wonderful friends I can hang out with." Seriously, I have been thinking (actually for a long while) that I have the world's greatest friends!! Yep, that's all of you reading this blog and those who don't, who won't ever know this was written in the first place.... Anyway....I have so much fun with you all, and I love laughing about "Peppermint _____" (fill in the blank Sara) and fumbling straws around at Fazoli's with Steph and maintaining iron-strength will-power as the breadstick man came by with his basket of fresh-out-of-the-oven-melt-in-your-mouth-carb-delights, sitting next to Holly at the movie and spilling half my popcorn and oohing and aahing over the cute little kids (Holly, it's been far too long since we've watched a movie together!), hanging out with Melissa and her new beautiful daughter at Emily's house, where Em's NEW stove is hard at work making yummy treats, and all the while, missing Fawn cuz she's relaxing at her fam's cabin (lucky!!!). So this only includes highlights from my last weekend, but seriously, God has blessed with such wonderful people to hang out with, that going 48 hours without seeing Conrad isn't near as bad as it could be. I am thankful that tonight is his LAST NIGHT!!! So now he'll get to come and hang around with me and my wonderful friends:) I know this seems to be going on and on, but I'm just realizing more and more how blessed I am. Hope you all have a great week! It's the week of looooooooove...rar!!

Getting zapped...
On a lighter note since my last entry... today I got my 4th installment of zaps to my face. The sound effects are probably one of the worst parts, the beep-sssst 400 times can get to be too much. The nightmares the night before are also bad--dreams that I didn't get enough numbing stuff on, that I'm late for work afterward, that I don't wake up on time for my appointment, or all of the above and the fact that when I woke up I had dreamt so much of my day I was sure it was Wednesday! I woke up about every hour on the hour because I was so worried about not hearing my 6:30 alarm--way too early for this girl, but if I sleep in, I sacrifice numbing power, so it's worth it. All in all, I'm wondering if the red spots, the pain, and the emotional distress are all worth it, but I'm PRAYING God will allow my face to come into alignment with His Kingdom after all these years of beautiful acne and scarring:) Feel free to join in the prayers. One of my biggest comforts is that my sister is doing the same thing, and so we can share our zapping experiences with each other. This usually comes long after the numbing wears off on whoever went that day, which is good because it gives the numbing effects to wear off so one is able to smile, talk, breath, drink, put on chapstick, etc. normally before engaging in another heartwarming conversation. If anyone is thinking about Smoothbeam Laser out there, feel free to give me and/or Pooh a call, and we'll tell you some fun stories. I hope this has been delightful and insightful reading for all of you!!!

The cross before me, the world behind...
This song has been my theme song since Thursday night at Chi Alpha. I've been kinda down lately just thinking about the negative things in my life--Grandma Manske dying, mom's cancer issues, dad's legal issues (on top of seeing him continually struggle with depression, death of his mom, death of close friend 3 months ago, mom's stuff...). Frankly, it's draining the life out of me. But back to Thursday night...during this song, God showed me that it's not so much the cross before me and the world behind me as if it's not an issue, but the cross is right in front of me--so magnificent, illuminating, amazing--that the world behind the cross is blurry, unimportant, and almost irrelevant in the big scheme of things. The cross, the redeeming work of Jesus, as my main focus in life is what brings life, joy, and everything good God has in store for me. God continued to work in my life as we had a worship night on Friday, and God revealed even more to me about this vision from Chi Alpha. He showed me that not only is the "world" behind the cross circumstances in my life, but bitterness, lack of contentment, and self-focus, etc., etc. The cross covers ALL these things so I can have abundant life!!! As we sang the song about giving up our dreams, laying down our rights, and surrendering all to Him, it was all I could do not to break down weeping. I realized that it's been months since I've felt so overwhelmed by feeling a lack of desperation for God in my life. I've been so wrapped up in Adriane that I've lost focus on God and the plan He has. I left feeling so uplifted, as if I'd been saturated in God. Today at church, God continued with an awesome service. Everyone was so free, the presence of God was thick, and there was intense unity. I pray God continues to move in my life, my marriage, my family, in my friends, in XA, at River of Life, and in Pocatello. God is faithful! I hope all this made sense, it's kinda hard to express over the computer, but I tried:)

Riding in Cars with Boys and Cadbury eggs
I was going to write this totally deep, mind stimulating, epiphany-creating blog tonight, but it's now bedtime and I'm too tired to write my novel. It'll have to wait for another day, as today's extreme monday-ness (is that a word?) took it out of me mentally. I had a fun weekend, despite that fact Ive seen Conrad for about 12 hours or less since Thursday at 5 p.m. Luckily, I have wonderful girlfriends who make the weekends fun and never boring. It was great to go to dinner at Wingers on Friday, followed by half-pound frozen yogurts (each!) at Maverick and then hang out and talk with Darci, Fawn and Pooh. Saturday I got out of my robe at about 4:30 and got ready to face the world, or more like, ready to get into some pjs and grab some junk food so I could go hang out with some friends and watch a movie. Sunday was good besides the constant underlying thoughts I woke up with and had throughout the day (that's where I'll have to explain more later...). I went to Bamboo Garden-yum!-which was all good, except for my dad not being able to come eat with us because he was crying and thinking about my grandma who died 2 weeks ago today. That always tugs the heartstrings to see your dad cry. But Em joined the rest of my family and we had fun and my dad was feeling better when we got home later. The weekend ended with Pooh and I renting a great Drew Barrymore flick, one neither of us had seen forever, and it was SOOO cute, I had forgotten how good it was. Of course, the sisters' movie night couldn't be complete without popcorn, chips, and ..... cadbury eggs!!! So all in all, the weekend ended up great, and I'm looking forward to next weekend when I can again indulge in Cadbury's utterly delicious egg.
p.s. did I talk a lot about food? hmmm. not surprised:)

So, I decided to join the blogging world.
It's a lazy Saturday afternoon, and my sister and I just got done watching One Tree Hill, a guilty pleasure my mom recorded for me since I was in Florida on Wednesday night:) I guess we did go to Curves today, but now we're plopped down watching What Not to Wear and eating candy (another guilty pleasure of mine...). Florida was soooo fun, it was close to 80 degrees everyday...then I came back to a snow storm. We went to Cape Canaveral to visit Kennedy Space Center, Busch Gardens in Tampa Bay, Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure, golfing (i drove a golf cart around), an outlet mall:), a helicopter ride over Orlando, a ride on the world's tallest Skycoaster (300 feet off the ground into a free-fall--ahhh!!), and played some miniature golf. I loved the palm trees, the sun, and being able to be with Conrad for a week straight. It was the perfect amount of time to be away. I went back to work yesterday and was met with my clients saying how much they missed me and some big hugs. This is one of the reasons I love my job. I love knowing that I make a difference in people's lives and that I am missed when I'm not there. Well, I'm getting pretty longwinded, as I have a habit of doing when I write, so more later...