something clever...
i keep lagging behind in my blogging!! and as far as a title for today's...nothing popped in my head, but i was, in fact, hoping for something clever to title my entry. i'll have to say i LOVE reading everyone's blog and hearing what's going on with everyone... melissa being a mom (a sick mom right now:( i'm praying for you), sara spending her mom's not yet won lottery money on a coffee (bleh!) shop (how bout ice cream? jk), steph and her bouts with technology, erin and her drunk uncle (um, yeah erin, i have a few of those, and drunk cousins and aunts...), and fawn's early morning nature epiphanies. so nothing too great has happened over the past few days. it's thursday and i feel like it should have been friday 3 days ago... ever had one of those weeks?

we're moving this weekend, at least the majority of our things. i'm actually getting kind of scared. things will be different out on the farm and i'm afraid of having the same feeling i had in D.C. 2 summers ago when i was lonely and wasn't even willing to give God some of that alone time. we spent time with the in-laws last night after paying taxes (AHHH! don't get me started on the large sum we wrote over to uncle sam--we honestly could've bought a car!). we went to arctic circle and i found myself getting frustrated. i love them all to death, but sometimes when we get together, it feels like a bashing time. i rarely hear of good things people are doing, but a lot of bad. i guess that comes with the small town thing, but i don't like it, so i just sit there, silent. something happened to a man that they know, and i'm friends with his daughter. i saw her on tuesday and she said nothing to me about this situation, but it's another ugly sin thing, and i found myself on his side, wanting to stand up for him against conrad's family.

i realized again what an ugly thing sin is, and not that this sin is worse than that sin, but that God sees it all the same way--something wicked that keeps us from experiencing His fullness. i think we often gauge a sin by it's natural consequences as to how bad it is. i'm broken that even us as christians look at sin this way, and that we point fingers and make judgments instead of coming along side the person knowing it could've been us in that same place. no one is above sin!! i think of patricia king and what i heard her talk about in nov. 2004 and mar. 2005 and both times she prophesied that the church was being called to a higher level of purity, and that satan was getting more deceptive and delving into those dark places where sin is easy to hide. not that we should be afraid of that, but take up the armor and be prepared when temptation comes. as i'm at arctic circle and this situation comes up yet again, "he knows better" "he has a wife and 4 girls" "they were going to start a church" "they've always acted like they're holier than though" "i hope he asked for forgiveness", i just wanted to scream "what you're doing is as bad in God's eyes!!!". i kind of feel like i'm starting to sound like a brat, but i will say i recognize this same shortcoming in my life. maybe God is using this to show me how distasteful this kind of talk is. i don't know, but i've never felt so much passion about defending someone who did something that, in human eyes, is repulsive. i am humbled by the fact that even my deepest darkest sins are not broadcasted in the newspaper or in any public way. i am thankful that i worship a God of restoration. God is so full of grace, and i know i take that for granted. God, please continue to teach me!!!