new perspective...
i need a new perspective, a new focus. i get so down thinking about the disappointments i see in myself and in others, that it brings my energy, my faith, my trust in people down. i hate being down. i need God to give me His perspective, His focus. i want to see myself and others as God sees us. i know there will be disappointments in life. people will disappoint me, I will disappoint me. God won't disappoint me (even though i've felt like He has at times...). God, let my focus be on you when life throws these disappointments my way. help me to know how to deal.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
overreaction...
it's amazing what one overreaction can do to a person. and not just that person directly, but hmmm...let's say....maybe a patient? because of an overreaction by a resident the last time i went for my yearly exam, my last 6 months have been ones of confusion, being scared, financial stress, etc., etc., and many other negative emotions. i heard back from the surgeon's nurse today. the surgeon and the radiologist (who read my ultrasound from tuesday) talked and the report on the lump in my breast is........it's nothing!!! yes, this is GREAT news. however, i am left wondering why i had to go through all this to get to this point. i'm reminded of mercyme's new song on the radio that says "if that's what it takes to praise you, Jesus bring the rain". sometimes it takes the storms of life to turn our eyes to Him. so maybe God is using this to teach me something? not that he ever wanted me to feel the emotional pain of this, but He was there through all of the emotions, doctor appointments, etc. was the overreaction something He allowed, or was He just there to pick up the pieces? don't know. i'm asking questions though, believe you me. anyway, thanks for your prayers and encouragement. i'm sure you're all glad to know my left breast is in tip-top shape:)
it's amazing what one overreaction can do to a person. and not just that person directly, but hmmm...let's say....maybe a patient? because of an overreaction by a resident the last time i went for my yearly exam, my last 6 months have been ones of confusion, being scared, financial stress, etc., etc., and many other negative emotions. i heard back from the surgeon's nurse today. the surgeon and the radiologist (who read my ultrasound from tuesday) talked and the report on the lump in my breast is........it's nothing!!! yes, this is GREAT news. however, i am left wondering why i had to go through all this to get to this point. i'm reminded of mercyme's new song on the radio that says "if that's what it takes to praise you, Jesus bring the rain". sometimes it takes the storms of life to turn our eyes to Him. so maybe God is using this to teach me something? not that he ever wanted me to feel the emotional pain of this, but He was there through all of the emotions, doctor appointments, etc. was the overreaction something He allowed, or was He just there to pick up the pieces? don't know. i'm asking questions though, believe you me. anyway, thanks for your prayers and encouragement. i'm sure you're all glad to know my left breast is in tip-top shape:)
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
happy birthday to me...
it's been a wonderful birthday so far, and i haven't even been home to see conrad yet tonight--take that like you want to:) sunday night was SO fun i can barely believe it really happened. what a blessing God's given me in my friends. conrad sent me a beautiful bouquet of roses at work today, i was totally surprised. i got to my parents' house and saw a weird number on my cell phone and ended up talking to JEANNIE for 20 or so minutes. i cried at the beginning and the end. it's been a happy day and it's not over yet:)
it's been a wonderful birthday so far, and i haven't even been home to see conrad yet tonight--take that like you want to:) sunday night was SO fun i can barely believe it really happened. what a blessing God's given me in my friends. conrad sent me a beautiful bouquet of roses at work today, i was totally surprised. i got to my parents' house and saw a weird number on my cell phone and ended up talking to JEANNIE for 20 or so minutes. i cried at the beginning and the end. it's been a happy day and it's not over yet:)
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
to foreign cars and being short...
well, yesterday, i was cursing both of these things. first of all, we brought our passat in for a wheelbearing to be put on and (what i thought was going to be) a simple fix. long story short, hundreds of dollars needed to fix problem. yes, we're getting a second opinion and my internet-loving dad is going to look for parts elsewhere. but, for now, i'm thinking our next car will NOT be german-made. how 'bout a reliable camry, an acura, or something else more common and cheaper to fix? definitely. about being short...5 minutes after i paid for the first installment of car fixing (wheelbearing costing $140 in LABOR!), i went to pick up my bridesmaid dress from getting shortened because my legs are stubs, and the cashier said, "okay, that'll be $45.25. i thought that surely i didn't hear her right! oh, but i did. no mistake here, ladies and gentlemen, short people pay more for things because we always have to get them shortened so we don't look like we're playing dress-up. not only did she have to shorten the outer fabric, no, she had to shorten the toulle (sp?) underthing too. some days i wish i was a little bit taller. even an inch or two would do.
well, yesterday, i was cursing both of these things. first of all, we brought our passat in for a wheelbearing to be put on and (what i thought was going to be) a simple fix. long story short, hundreds of dollars needed to fix problem. yes, we're getting a second opinion and my internet-loving dad is going to look for parts elsewhere. but, for now, i'm thinking our next car will NOT be german-made. how 'bout a reliable camry, an acura, or something else more common and cheaper to fix? definitely. about being short...5 minutes after i paid for the first installment of car fixing (wheelbearing costing $140 in LABOR!), i went to pick up my bridesmaid dress from getting shortened because my legs are stubs, and the cashier said, "okay, that'll be $45.25. i thought that surely i didn't hear her right! oh, but i did. no mistake here, ladies and gentlemen, short people pay more for things because we always have to get them shortened so we don't look like we're playing dress-up. not only did she have to shorten the outer fabric, no, she had to shorten the toulle (sp?) underthing too. some days i wish i was a little bit taller. even an inch or two would do.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
i can only imagine...
i'm wondering how long it will be until i can hear this song--sing this song--again without choking up. when the intro music started at church today, i leaned over to conrad and said "oh no." ever since my grandma died last year, it's hit home a lot harder than just a happy, gonna be in heaven someday song. my dad had it played at grandma's funeral in jan. '06. he also had it played at grandpa's funeral in january '07, right before he gave the eulogy. today in church, i couldn't even look at my dad. i peeked toward the end and he was just sitting there with his eyes closed. i tried to sing parts, but after 3 words had to stop for fear that i'd start bawling uncontrollably. no thank you, i'll save that for the car or home. anyway, i do like the song, but the emotions are still a little too strong to enjoy it.
i'm wondering how long it will be until i can hear this song--sing this song--again without choking up. when the intro music started at church today, i leaned over to conrad and said "oh no." ever since my grandma died last year, it's hit home a lot harder than just a happy, gonna be in heaven someday song. my dad had it played at grandma's funeral in jan. '06. he also had it played at grandpa's funeral in january '07, right before he gave the eulogy. today in church, i couldn't even look at my dad. i peeked toward the end and he was just sitting there with his eyes closed. i tried to sing parts, but after 3 words had to stop for fear that i'd start bawling uncontrollably. no thank you, i'll save that for the car or home. anyway, i do like the song, but the emotions are still a little too strong to enjoy it.
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