Thursday, March 06, 2008

unwelcome visitor...
i don't think i've ever NOT wanted my period so badly. i actually almost cried today when "aunt flow" came to visit in walmart. not because of the cramps from hell either as i walked around with a client for 2 hours. i've been emotional lately as i obsess over wanting a baby so badly it hurts. i can barely talk about it aloud without choking up and stopping myself before i have a breakdown. sitting in a room with 3 pregnant girls on tuesday was almost torture. yes, i'm happy for people, however, struggling with my internal unrest about not getting pregnant in my time. that's where my problem is...i KNOW God has this in control, and i'm okay with it about 10% of the time. God, i need more faith!!! today on the way to work He reminded me of His faithfulness in past situations--awesome family and friends, AMAZING husband, His grace, His provision, and on and on and on... anyway, i need to go before i throw myself a huge pity party. please pray for me:)