M got a call about 1:30 yesterday at work that there was a potential heart for Joey. This ist he third "potential heart" they've had, so none of us got our hopes up too much. However, when the next call came within the half-hour, we knew it was for real. M left to pack a few quick things, grab Joey's dad, and headed to SLC. She desparately wanted to talk to Joey before he went into surgery, and she actually got the chance to spend a few hours with him. The surgery got scheduled to begin at midnight. It was kind of weird that it was so many hours after the initial call, because all of us, including M, had thought 2-3 hours max between the time they had a heart and implanting it. I woke up to a text this morning at 6:48 saying that everything went well, the heart was a good fit, and both sides were working (important because the reason for the heart plant was a severely damaged left ventricle) but she couldn't see him yet. Around 10:00, she called the credit union and she was at Joey's side and called to say he's waking up and still had the breathing tube. This was taken out early afternoon. Joey has a new, healthy heart...HURRAY!!! God is so good.
Please continue to pray that his body would accept this new heart, and also pray for the family and other loved ones that had to say goodbuy to someone they loved today. Bittersweet, for sure.
The nurse told Joey, "now you have 2 birthdays...November 22nd and June 23rd!". What a gift.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
I Don't Know if I Can Do It!
Parenting, that is.
So much heartache involved! I know, I know, the good outweighs the bad. But with my co-worker's situation with her son, stories of miscarriages and stillbirths, and other tragedies that happen to families, it really makes my heart question if I could take the baddest of the bad. I'm really, really not trying to just focus on that, but one does question What would I do if I were in that situation?? Could I handle it?? Would I totally fall apart??
A friend on FB wrote today, after losing her niece last night: "One of the best ways to have a little Heaven in your home is to have someone you love in Heaven." I like this quote, because it is a reminder that better things are yet to come. Heaven will wash away all our tears and sadness. Meanwhile, it's very heart-wrenching when the quote is referring to a baby girl who's only 2 weeks from being born into this world. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain mommy-to-be is feeling. With two weeks yet to go, little girl was named, had a nursery ready, and had all the last minute items from her baby shower last weekend. Two weeks more, and mommy-to-be would've been able to kiss her daughter's sweet face. Please pray for her and her husband, as well as the rest of the family and close friends, as they mourn this loss.
So much heartache involved! I know, I know, the good outweighs the bad. But with my co-worker's situation with her son, stories of miscarriages and stillbirths, and other tragedies that happen to families, it really makes my heart question if I could take the baddest of the bad. I'm really, really not trying to just focus on that, but one does question What would I do if I were in that situation?? Could I handle it?? Would I totally fall apart??
A friend on FB wrote today, after losing her niece last night: "One of the best ways to have a little Heaven in your home is to have someone you love in Heaven." I like this quote, because it is a reminder that better things are yet to come. Heaven will wash away all our tears and sadness. Meanwhile, it's very heart-wrenching when the quote is referring to a baby girl who's only 2 weeks from being born into this world. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain mommy-to-be is feeling. With two weeks yet to go, little girl was named, had a nursery ready, and had all the last minute items from her baby shower last weekend. Two weeks more, and mommy-to-be would've been able to kiss her daughter's sweet face. Please pray for her and her husband, as well as the rest of the family and close friends, as they mourn this loss.
Sunday, June 05, 2011
Nothing New Around Here
I haven't blogged for awhile because, frankly, there's nothing to say. My life stays pretty much the same, day in and day out. I'm not so sure there's anything bad about that, I guess, being as I really don't want any bad excitement in my life. Sometimes the mundane is okay, especially considering what some people around me are going through at this time. Here are a few bullet points on the last month of my life:
**Joey is now able to leave the hospital as long as he's wearing his "life vest". This contraption pretty much shocks his heart back to life if it stops. My co-worker was hoping to be able to take him somewhere cool over the weekend while she and his dad were there...hopefully that worked out, I'm sure he's tired of hospital walls after three weeks.
**I hosted a sleepover party for my sister on Friday night. She turned 24...crazy since she's four years younger than me and I'm only 22:) We had about twelve girls at my house and about ten stayed the night. Lots of GREAT food, laughter, and celebrating a wonderful girl.
**Yesterday, we went to pick up my sister's Aussie friend Kate from the SLC airport. She met Kate while doing her DTS (discipleship training school) in Thailand about two years ago and they developed a deep bond while together for five months in the school. I choked up a little when, from a distance, I saw them greeting each other. My sister says she's had lots of dreams about Kate coming to visit Idaho and is sad when she wakes up---so it's a dream come true this week!! I have been spending time with my sister and Kate, enjoying her joyful, fun personality...and of course, her accent:)
**I went to the Superbike Races (SBK) in Utah on Memorial Day with Conrad and Dad. We stayed over Sunday night, which was awesome because Conrad and I were able to go visit Joey while Dad hung out at the motel. Monday we spent all day at the race track and had lots of fun. It was cold...last year I got sunburned and sweat all day, and this year I couldn't get the chills to go away due to the wind! Luckily, none of the races got cancelled, and it turns out the weather report on the internet was inaccurate to our advantage (no rainshowers!). I'm sure the racers would've been upset with that, too, since they only make one stop in N. America on their 13-stop world tour.
So I guess there are a few items I could've posted about and elaborated on, but there's just not much energy to do so. I still haven't posted pics from Oregon, have I?! Just on Facebook, I think. Now that my husband is working 6am-10:30pm, you'd think I'd have lots of spare time to blog. Nope, I've been enjoying my month of free *Netflix* on-demand and my newest craft projects (hair bows/flowers from fabric). Oh yeah, and mowing my acre of lawn with a push mower.
**Joey is now able to leave the hospital as long as he's wearing his "life vest". This contraption pretty much shocks his heart back to life if it stops. My co-worker was hoping to be able to take him somewhere cool over the weekend while she and his dad were there...hopefully that worked out, I'm sure he's tired of hospital walls after three weeks.
**I hosted a sleepover party for my sister on Friday night. She turned 24...crazy since she's four years younger than me and I'm only 22:) We had about twelve girls at my house and about ten stayed the night. Lots of GREAT food, laughter, and celebrating a wonderful girl.
**Yesterday, we went to pick up my sister's Aussie friend Kate from the SLC airport. She met Kate while doing her DTS (discipleship training school) in Thailand about two years ago and they developed a deep bond while together for five months in the school. I choked up a little when, from a distance, I saw them greeting each other. My sister says she's had lots of dreams about Kate coming to visit Idaho and is sad when she wakes up---so it's a dream come true this week!! I have been spending time with my sister and Kate, enjoying her joyful, fun personality...and of course, her accent:)
**I went to the Superbike Races (SBK) in Utah on Memorial Day with Conrad and Dad. We stayed over Sunday night, which was awesome because Conrad and I were able to go visit Joey while Dad hung out at the motel. Monday we spent all day at the race track and had lots of fun. It was cold...last year I got sunburned and sweat all day, and this year I couldn't get the chills to go away due to the wind! Luckily, none of the races got cancelled, and it turns out the weather report on the internet was inaccurate to our advantage (no rainshowers!). I'm sure the racers would've been upset with that, too, since they only make one stop in N. America on their 13-stop world tour.
So I guess there are a few items I could've posted about and elaborated on, but there's just not much energy to do so. I still haven't posted pics from Oregon, have I?! Just on Facebook, I think. Now that my husband is working 6am-10:30pm, you'd think I'd have lots of spare time to blog. Nope, I've been enjoying my month of free *Netflix* on-demand and my newest craft projects (hair bows/flowers from fabric). Oh yeah, and mowing my acre of lawn with a push mower.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Update on Joey
It's been a crazy week. Wait, a week?! It feels like it's been months since this whole thing with Joey started. A quick rundown on what has transpired...
He is still at Primary Children's in SLC. He is not even allowed to get up from bed because they do not want him to exert himself whatsoever. Imagine a teenage boy having to lay in bed for 7 days...poor guy! His dad made it from North Dakota and has been with (M) and Joey since about Wednesday. They've done more imaging, EKGs, and other tests to try and narrow down the exact problem and solution. There have been a few bumps in the road, but he has an excellent team working on him.
At this point, he is in 1A (top of the top) priority for a heart transplant. Heart transplant. I am in denial that all of this is even happening! I can't imagine hearing those words about my child. Or having to watch as they poke and prod to try and discover how to keep him alive until his 16th birthday...not to mention High School graduation, marriage, children, career, etc. Once they release him, he will have to live no more than 2 hours from the hospital. We are all wondering how that is going to pan out in their lives.
We get many questions daily about how he is doing and how (M) is holding up...in a small community (4,000, give or take), everyone knows everyone (just about) and is into everyone's business. In this case, that's okay:) The Credit Union is a good place for people to spill their guts, or pry for info. Generally, I do not talk about people with members, but when everyone's so concerned about and praying for Joey, it's easy to find common ground and share our concerns. I'm sure we will plan a community fundraiser event sometime this summer to help with some expenses. (M) has expressed multiple times how much she feels blessed by their circle of friends during this hard time.
On Sunday, I'm going with Conrad and my dad to SLC for some motorcycle races that will happen on Monday. We are going to visit them and I'm so excited to see them. I am praying that a pastor from down there will go and talk with them, and that it will open up doors even wider for me to share my faith. We are most likely going to bring Joey's sister down with us. She'll be done with school for the year, and she's been getting homesick:( She will keep us entertained on the ride down...she has quite the cute personality!
Thank you for your prayers for Joey and his family. There is an obvious reason that his issue was found out before it was fatal. God has a purpose for his life. Now I'm praying that he will open his heart to God and pursue whatever path He has for him. Please let me know if you have any ideas for care package items for a teen boy!! Also, I'm thinking about giving them a copy of The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. It's so encouraging and not super "religious"...just truth that we all need to discover. Please pray that I would have insight as to how to approach the faith aspect.
He is still at Primary Children's in SLC. He is not even allowed to get up from bed because they do not want him to exert himself whatsoever. Imagine a teenage boy having to lay in bed for 7 days...poor guy! His dad made it from North Dakota and has been with (M) and Joey since about Wednesday. They've done more imaging, EKGs, and other tests to try and narrow down the exact problem and solution. There have been a few bumps in the road, but he has an excellent team working on him.
At this point, he is in 1A (top of the top) priority for a heart transplant. Heart transplant. I am in denial that all of this is even happening! I can't imagine hearing those words about my child. Or having to watch as they poke and prod to try and discover how to keep him alive until his 16th birthday...not to mention High School graduation, marriage, children, career, etc. Once they release him, he will have to live no more than 2 hours from the hospital. We are all wondering how that is going to pan out in their lives.
We get many questions daily about how he is doing and how (M) is holding up...in a small community (4,000, give or take), everyone knows everyone (just about) and is into everyone's business. In this case, that's okay:) The Credit Union is a good place for people to spill their guts, or pry for info. Generally, I do not talk about people with members, but when everyone's so concerned about and praying for Joey, it's easy to find common ground and share our concerns. I'm sure we will plan a community fundraiser event sometime this summer to help with some expenses. (M) has expressed multiple times how much she feels blessed by their circle of friends during this hard time.
On Sunday, I'm going with Conrad and my dad to SLC for some motorcycle races that will happen on Monday. We are going to visit them and I'm so excited to see them. I am praying that a pastor from down there will go and talk with them, and that it will open up doors even wider for me to share my faith. We are most likely going to bring Joey's sister down with us. She'll be done with school for the year, and she's been getting homesick:( She will keep us entertained on the ride down...she has quite the cute personality!
Thank you for your prayers for Joey and his family. There is an obvious reason that his issue was found out before it was fatal. God has a purpose for his life. Now I'm praying that he will open his heart to God and pursue whatever path He has for him. Please let me know if you have any ideas for care package items for a teen boy!! Also, I'm thinking about giving them a copy of The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. It's so encouraging and not super "religious"...just truth that we all need to discover. Please pray that I would have insight as to how to approach the faith aspect.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Prayers for Joey
On Tuesday I went to work ready for a normal week (finally). Nope. Apparently one co-worker (M) had taken her son and daughter to the doctor in Poky (1/2 hr. away) Monday night for some "minor" complaints--his being a stomach ache and her's an earache. The night ended with Joey being admitted to ICU due to possible heart problems. This is all I found out on Tuesday morning, and we got a few updates throughout the day: They're doing an EKG; he has an enlarged heart and possible clot; and finally, that we was being transported to Primary Children's Hospital (in a big city about 4 hours from our little town). (M) wanted to fly with him, so another co-worker (A) and I headed to Poky to get her keys/car and bring them well-wishes. Joey was in good spirits as the flight crew was getting his wires and IV's situated on the gurney for the flight.
This 15-year-old kid is such a fun, good kid. Conrad and I have "hired" him to help us haul wood or with yardwork, and he's always a talkative, funny guy. It's still hard for me to comprehend that something big is wrong with him:(
As of today, they have diagnosed him with dilated cardiomyopathy (an enlarged heart), and have ruled out that it's an infection that caused it (we were hoping for this, as medication would've probably corrected the problem). This means that there is an abnormality in his heart...probably has been since birth. This is the kind of thing that those athletes drop dead on the court or the field from...seemingly so healthy, but something in their heart just isn't right. It seems that Joey's decision to take a break this year from wrestling and football was a good decision, huh? They put a catheter into his heart (up through the groin area...yikes!) and were able to get a better picture of what's going on. They are putting Joey on a transplant list and the team will meet tonight with the family to discuss a game plan. We are hoping that it won't come to a transplant, and if it does, that it would happen quickly and easily.
Would you please, please, please pray for Joey and (M), and his dad and sister?? My boss talked to (M) today and said she sounds exhausted...I can't imagine the emotions she's had (including the one's associated with her D&C last Wednesday). I know they believe in God, but they haven't accepted Christ as their Savior. I am praying that through this hard time, God would reveal Himself to them...through peace, comfort, medical staff, other patients/families, and physically in Joey's body. My God is so good!
This 15-year-old kid is such a fun, good kid. Conrad and I have "hired" him to help us haul wood or with yardwork, and he's always a talkative, funny guy. It's still hard for me to comprehend that something big is wrong with him:(
As of today, they have diagnosed him with dilated cardiomyopathy (an enlarged heart), and have ruled out that it's an infection that caused it (we were hoping for this, as medication would've probably corrected the problem). This means that there is an abnormality in his heart...probably has been since birth. This is the kind of thing that those athletes drop dead on the court or the field from...seemingly so healthy, but something in their heart just isn't right. It seems that Joey's decision to take a break this year from wrestling and football was a good decision, huh? They put a catheter into his heart (up through the groin area...yikes!) and were able to get a better picture of what's going on. They are putting Joey on a transplant list and the team will meet tonight with the family to discuss a game plan. We are hoping that it won't come to a transplant, and if it does, that it would happen quickly and easily.
Would you please, please, please pray for Joey and (M), and his dad and sister?? My boss talked to (M) today and said she sounds exhausted...I can't imagine the emotions she's had (including the one's associated with her D&C last Wednesday). I know they believe in God, but they haven't accepted Christ as their Savior. I am praying that through this hard time, God would reveal Himself to them...through peace, comfort, medical staff, other patients/families, and physically in Joey's body. My God is so good!
Sunday, May 08, 2011
This is the Mother I Have...and Would Love to Be
"A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts." — Washington Irving
Saturday, May 07, 2011
Mother's Day Blues
What a mixed bag of mixed emotions I have as Mother's Day nears. It almost feels sacrilegious to say, but it is not my holiday of choice.
YES!! I love my mom, and my grandmas, and my aunts, and my friends' moms, and my friends who are moms. Motherhood is something to be deeply cherished and highly esteemed.
However, this day stirs up so many deep emotions that I can barely stand it. This will be the fourth Mother's Day that I have:
a)hoped to tell my mom and MIL in a fun Mother's Day way that they will soon be grandmas, but there's nothing to say;
b)dreaded church and work because everyone's saying "Happy Mother's Day!", and it doesn't apply to me; and
c)hoped and prayed that maybe next year, I will be a mother.
Thankfully, I'm in the nursery at church tomorrow. Some may think yikes! nursery on Mother's Day? But I like the fact that I can get some baby-lovin' in and avoid the crowds that are in the Mother's Day trance:) j/k:) For the 7+ million people in the U.S. that are struggling with infertility...God help us through tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day...and every day of our journey.
YES!! I love my mom, and my grandmas, and my aunts, and my friends' moms, and my friends who are moms. Motherhood is something to be deeply cherished and highly esteemed.
However, this day stirs up so many deep emotions that I can barely stand it. This will be the fourth Mother's Day that I have:
a)hoped to tell my mom and MIL in a fun Mother's Day way that they will soon be grandmas, but there's nothing to say;
b)dreaded church and work because everyone's saying "Happy Mother's Day!", and it doesn't apply to me; and
c)hoped and prayed that maybe next year, I will be a mother.
Thankfully, I'm in the nursery at church tomorrow. Some may think yikes! nursery on Mother's Day? But I like the fact that I can get some baby-lovin' in and avoid the crowds that are in the Mother's Day trance:) j/k:) For the 7+ million people in the U.S. that are struggling with infertility...God help us through tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day...and every day of our journey.
Thursday, May 05, 2011
Would You Please Pray?
It was a somber afternoon at the credit union today. To make a long story short, my pregnant co-worker found out today that she is carrying a baby, but the baby has no heartbeat. The doctor is going to give her until next Wednesday to naturally miscarry, or he will do a D&C. My heart just broke when she was telling us, and I couldn't help but to cry with her. My heart is sad right now:( Please pray for her--for her physical body, and for her emotions. She isn't a believer, but did say, "Maybe God knew something I didn't." Hopefully I can be a light into her life during this hard time.
I don't mean to turn this around to me, but just one quick thing: when she told us, I thought that could so easily of been me and could feel the fear and emotion rising up inside of me. I will need to "pray without ceasing" so that I will not take this upon myself and my future pregnancy.
Once again, I'm so glad for relationships. Life would be so lonely and lack-luster without others to share it with--the good and the bad. I pray I can be as good of a support to others as they have all been to me.
I don't mean to turn this around to me, but just one quick thing: when she told us, I thought that could so easily of been me and could feel the fear and emotion rising up inside of me. I will need to "pray without ceasing" so that I will not take this upon myself and my future pregnancy.
Once again, I'm so glad for relationships. Life would be so lonely and lack-luster without others to share it with--the good and the bad. I pray I can be as good of a support to others as they have all been to me.
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
Babies Everywhere!
Today the second of two friends in five days welcomed a baby boy into their family. Welcome to the world, Alex and Kai!! They are just as precious as can be (from what I can tell from one facebook photo each--come on, more please!), and it makes me realize how bad I want one. To be honest, there have been pregnancy announcements/births that have made me very upset (i.e. local 12-year-old girl pregnant by her 15-year-old [ex-]boyfriend; someone with an unwanted pregancy; you get the idea). However, when my friends who are in a godly, committed relationship have given their announcements of pregnancies and births, all I can think is What a miracle and I can't wait to kiss the baby's face off!
There are times when I try to talk myself out of wanting kids...try to convince myself that I'm complete. But when I return to the most honest, deepest longings of my heart, I know that I am not complete. We are not complete. God has a family in store, and there is a reason why the longings and dreams are there. There is a reason why He's having us wait for the blessing, most likely to build character, build our relationship with Him and with each other, and ultimately, to be able to testify of His faithfulness to fulfill His promises. God, help me to be a quicker learner, and to be open to what you want to teach me through all of this. Here are a few verses about God's faithfulness:
There are times when I try to talk myself out of wanting kids...try to convince myself that I'm complete. But when I return to the most honest, deepest longings of my heart, I know that I am not complete. We are not complete. God has a family in store, and there is a reason why the longings and dreams are there. There is a reason why He's having us wait for the blessing, most likely to build character, build our relationship with Him and with each other, and ultimately, to be able to testify of His faithfulness to fulfill His promises. God, help me to be a quicker learner, and to be open to what you want to teach me through all of this. Here are a few verses about God's faithfulness:
Numbers 23:19
"God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?"
Psalm 89:2, 8
"I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself... O LORD God Almighty, who is like you? You are mighty, O LORD, and your faithfulness surrounds you."
Psalm 9:10
"Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you."
Isaiah 25:1
"O LORD, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago."
Hebrews 10:23
"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful."
Monday, May 02, 2011
Oregon, Part II
And here we have the rest of the novel about my recent vaca:)
Saturday morning we all slept in a bit and then went right to the beach. There were no head shots that morning:) After we were officially frozen (the cold sand on the bare feet made for numb feet, and the wind was a little bit biting), we headed back to the cottage to get ready for the day. We ate leftovers for lunch, and then headed North toward Newport. Once again, we had a beautiful, sunny day!! We went to the Yaquina Lighthouse and toured and took pictures. We went to an Antique Mall which mostly provided lots of laughs and some free gummy teeth (made for some funny pics later). Jeannie did find a CUTE hat and some gloves there, and Fawn found a beautiful piece of fabric (tablecloth?).
We went further into Newport and finally found our way downtown. We walked around for maybe an hour...browsing in the art galleries, stocking up on salt water taffy, and trying to avoid the smell of the fresh shrimp they were loading into a truck. When we walked down one pier, we saw a couple sea lions swimming around...so cute! On the way back "home" to Waldport, we stopped at an art gallery boasting blown glass decor. It was amazing! Fawn got a beautiful ornament to hang from the ceiling (to add to her current collection), and we watched a bit while a couple took a lesson to make their own blown glass ball. Maybe next time I'm in Oregon, I will take a lesson...looked fun.
Our little cottage was so relaxing, and we spent the late afternoon napping/reading/enjoying the peacefulness. We ate a delicous meal Jeannie prepared, thoroughly enjoying our last meal overlooking the ocean. She made us chicken stuffed with arugula and pepperjack cheese, succotash (didn't know this was a real thing...), and yummy black beans. I could get used to these gourmet meals!! After dinner, we took one last walk on the beach. I was determined to find some pretty seashells and maybe a whole sand dollar, however our beach didn't have much to offer in that department. Once again, we walked until we were numb with coldness. We finished the night with talking, laughing, and attempting to play a card game. Oh yeah, and the gummy teeth made an appearance!
I ended my last night on the coast writing an entry in the Hi-Tide guestbook, trying to concisely document the celebration four friends had shared over a long weekend on the Oregon Coast. Our first night in the house, Jeannie read us all the entries from the many guests the house had hosted. So fun to see where people have traveled from and to read their similar feelings of peace and refreshment.
Sunday was a long day on the road--16 hours! Luckily, we were in good company, and we never had any car problems the whole trip (thank you, God!).
Fawn, Jean, and Britt...thank you for your friendship and for an awesome time on the coast. I will always remember our "10 year celebration" fondly...and probably with a chuckle:)
Saturday morning we all slept in a bit and then went right to the beach. There were no head shots that morning:) After we were officially frozen (the cold sand on the bare feet made for numb feet, and the wind was a little bit biting), we headed back to the cottage to get ready for the day. We ate leftovers for lunch, and then headed North toward Newport. Once again, we had a beautiful, sunny day!! We went to the Yaquina Lighthouse and toured and took pictures. We went to an Antique Mall which mostly provided lots of laughs and some free gummy teeth (made for some funny pics later). Jeannie did find a CUTE hat and some gloves there, and Fawn found a beautiful piece of fabric (tablecloth?).
We went further into Newport and finally found our way downtown. We walked around for maybe an hour...browsing in the art galleries, stocking up on salt water taffy, and trying to avoid the smell of the fresh shrimp they were loading into a truck. When we walked down one pier, we saw a couple sea lions swimming around...so cute! On the way back "home" to Waldport, we stopped at an art gallery boasting blown glass decor. It was amazing! Fawn got a beautiful ornament to hang from the ceiling (to add to her current collection), and we watched a bit while a couple took a lesson to make their own blown glass ball. Maybe next time I'm in Oregon, I will take a lesson...looked fun.
Our little cottage was so relaxing, and we spent the late afternoon napping/reading/enjoying the peacefulness. We ate a delicous meal Jeannie prepared, thoroughly enjoying our last meal overlooking the ocean. She made us chicken stuffed with arugula and pepperjack cheese, succotash (didn't know this was a real thing...), and yummy black beans. I could get used to these gourmet meals!! After dinner, we took one last walk on the beach. I was determined to find some pretty seashells and maybe a whole sand dollar, however our beach didn't have much to offer in that department. Once again, we walked until we were numb with coldness. We finished the night with talking, laughing, and attempting to play a card game. Oh yeah, and the gummy teeth made an appearance!
I ended my last night on the coast writing an entry in the Hi-Tide guestbook, trying to concisely document the celebration four friends had shared over a long weekend on the Oregon Coast. Our first night in the house, Jeannie read us all the entries from the many guests the house had hosted. So fun to see where people have traveled from and to read their similar feelings of peace and refreshment.
Sunday was a long day on the road--16 hours! Luckily, we were in good company, and we never had any car problems the whole trip (thank you, God!).
Fawn, Jean, and Britt...thank you for your friendship and for an awesome time on the coast. I will always remember our "10 year celebration" fondly...and probably with a chuckle:)
Calmness in Our Lives
I received this as an e-mail forward and thought it was funny:)
hahaha. I will post more about my trip later!
"I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished."
So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates, and a half bottle of scotch.
You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now."
hahaha. I will post more about my trip later!
Friday, April 29, 2011
10 Years Ago...
...four girls left their parents' homes in Idaho and Wyoming and moved into the dorms on the campus of Idaho State University. Through different classes and friends of friends, they became closer friends and, at a few points in time, roommates. We've all since graduated and gone our separate ways. You know those people that you can go for years without seeing and still pick up right where you left off? These are a few of those people in my life. We haven't had a dull moment yet!
I wasn't sure we'd have internet but we are stealing some Wi-Fi, so I'll update you on the last few days' events. That way, it's not a novel when I get home:)
First and foremost, it has been SO relaxing and refreshing. Mapquest said the drive would be around 9 hours 44 minutes (to be exact), but we took around 12 hours because we ate at a cute little diner called Linda's in Biggs, OR, and stopped at Multnomah Falls to take in the beauty. It was super rainy, so we didn't spend as much time there as we'd hoped. We're hoping Sunday is nicer so we can take more pictures and do the mile long hike...we were soaked after the .2 mile hike (can you say "wet jeans" for the next 4 hours of our trip??). We also stopped at Trader Joe's in Corvalis, per my request. Mostly I love their reusable bags and yummy treats (i.e. chocolate covered toffee, etc.). If it's natural, it's healthy, right? Just kidding.
When we pulled up to our little beach cottage, we were speechless. I think I broke the silence first with my excited babble. My gals have been so good about my babble...I just CAN'T get over the beauty. Our cottage is right on the beach and we can hear the waves crashing all night. It started raining after we were unpacked and we stayed in for the night, eating good dinner, dessert, and erupting into lots of laughter.
Today we were out of here by 10 and headed South. We stopped at a lighthouse and it just so happened that've Velva was ready to give a tour. It was beautiful, and she clearly loves her job...adding her own personality to the tour protocol. We ran down the Pacific Coast Highway from one scenic pullout to the next because we thought it'd provide better photo ops. Look at us, all daring and reckless at our ripe ol' age of 28:)
Next stop, Sea Lion Caves. World's largest, at that. It was pretty cool. It was hard to get good pictures because they do keep you a little bit of a distance away, and though I love my point and shoot, I would've enjoyed a longer lens. We were close enough to see with our bare eyes, however, the different personalities and different body types, etc. I took a video of them to see if I could get anything worth keeping. It mostly turned out blurry and slightly awkward...they bellar like cows and squeal every once and a while.
We stopped in Florence and ate lunch at the Hot Rod Cafe. Now this was an experience. Despite Fawn's hesitance, she let us sit in an acual hot rod convertible while we ate (there were only 2 in the whole diner...this was a privilege). We had to open the doors to get into the booth and everything. It was very funny and everyone who walked by to go to the bathroom just stared and grinned at us.
After picking up a few groceries, we headed back to our cottage for some R & R. I took a nap--I was tired, and perhaps a little grumpy? I felt like a new woman when I woke up and we had a crafty time, where Jeannie taught us how to make hair clip flowers and use all her fixin's. I think I am now addicted. I love being crafty!! Tomorrow we plan on heading North, up toward Newport, after spending the morning walking the beach and maybe doing a few more crafts. I will probably write more tomorrow. Hopefully the day will move slowly...we all knew it'd be a quick trip, but wanted to make it happen.
Thank you, God, for this time of refreshing and enjoying your beauty!! And, thank you for a beautiful, sunny day in Oregon!! You are awesome.
I wasn't sure we'd have internet but we are stealing some Wi-Fi, so I'll update you on the last few days' events. That way, it's not a novel when I get home:)
First and foremost, it has been SO relaxing and refreshing. Mapquest said the drive would be around 9 hours 44 minutes (to be exact), but we took around 12 hours because we ate at a cute little diner called Linda's in Biggs, OR, and stopped at Multnomah Falls to take in the beauty. It was super rainy, so we didn't spend as much time there as we'd hoped. We're hoping Sunday is nicer so we can take more pictures and do the mile long hike...we were soaked after the .2 mile hike (can you say "wet jeans" for the next 4 hours of our trip??). We also stopped at Trader Joe's in Corvalis, per my request. Mostly I love their reusable bags and yummy treats (i.e. chocolate covered toffee, etc.). If it's natural, it's healthy, right? Just kidding.
When we pulled up to our little beach cottage, we were speechless. I think I broke the silence first with my excited babble. My gals have been so good about my babble...I just CAN'T get over the beauty. Our cottage is right on the beach and we can hear the waves crashing all night. It started raining after we were unpacked and we stayed in for the night, eating good dinner, dessert, and erupting into lots of laughter.
Today we were out of here by 10 and headed South. We stopped at a lighthouse and it just so happened that've Velva was ready to give a tour. It was beautiful, and she clearly loves her job...adding her own personality to the tour protocol. We ran down the Pacific Coast Highway from one scenic pullout to the next because we thought it'd provide better photo ops. Look at us, all daring and reckless at our ripe ol' age of 28:)
Next stop, Sea Lion Caves. World's largest, at that. It was pretty cool. It was hard to get good pictures because they do keep you a little bit of a distance away, and though I love my point and shoot, I would've enjoyed a longer lens. We were close enough to see with our bare eyes, however, the different personalities and different body types, etc. I took a video of them to see if I could get anything worth keeping. It mostly turned out blurry and slightly awkward...they bellar like cows and squeal every once and a while.
We stopped in Florence and ate lunch at the Hot Rod Cafe. Now this was an experience. Despite Fawn's hesitance, she let us sit in an acual hot rod convertible while we ate (there were only 2 in the whole diner...this was a privilege). We had to open the doors to get into the booth and everything. It was very funny and everyone who walked by to go to the bathroom just stared and grinned at us.
After picking up a few groceries, we headed back to our cottage for some R & R. I took a nap--I was tired, and perhaps a little grumpy? I felt like a new woman when I woke up and we had a crafty time, where Jeannie taught us how to make hair clip flowers and use all her fixin's. I think I am now addicted. I love being crafty!! Tomorrow we plan on heading North, up toward Newport, after spending the morning walking the beach and maybe doing a few more crafts. I will probably write more tomorrow. Hopefully the day will move slowly...we all knew it'd be a quick trip, but wanted to make it happen.
Thank you, God, for this time of refreshing and enjoying your beauty!! And, thank you for a beautiful, sunny day in Oregon!! You are awesome.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Girls Weekend Away!!
I am going to the Oregon coast this weekend with 3 college friends...we've known each other for 10 years now...I'm feeling OLD!!
We are staying in a beach house (cottage, as the website calls it), and will be touring around the coast for a few days. It'll be a quick trip, I'm afraid (two 1/2 whole days at the house), but it will be great to catch up with some of my fav girls. This little vaca couldn't come at a better time...I'm feeling blah with all the continual infertility emotions; up and down, up and down, repeat a million times.
Please pray for safe travels and a refreshing time of fellowship with my girlfriends. I will post some pictures when I get home:)
We are staying in a beach house (cottage, as the website calls it), and will be touring around the coast for a few days. It'll be a quick trip, I'm afraid (two 1/2 whole days at the house), but it will be great to catch up with some of my fav girls. This little vaca couldn't come at a better time...I'm feeling blah with all the continual infertility emotions; up and down, up and down, repeat a million times.
Please pray for safe travels and a refreshing time of fellowship with my girlfriends. I will post some pictures when I get home:)
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
SIL's Wisdom
A few days after my birthday, SIL and I finally caught up with each other to chat over the phone. You might remember that we spent some time together in October and I spilled the beans about our struggle with TTC. We spent time at Christmas together, and also in Tucson in February, and nothing ever came up about the whole infertility thing. But, I knew that she'd probably (99.9% sure) tell her mom and dad, as well as her uncle and grandma minutes after I first talked to her about it in October (she shares everything about everyone else with her family). I kept waiting for something to come up from any of these family members, but nothing ever has.
However, six months after first talking about it, she brought it up again. I'm sure the family is *dying* to know what's going on with us (and of course they won't ask us to our face...)! After the typical surface-level "how are you?" "fine, how are you?" etc., she jumped into, "haven't you been going to the doctor for some stuff?" So, what did I do? I laid it on thick! Told her about the painful IUIs (which I didn't really want to go into detail about the process...told her to *google* it), the money constraints, etc. The reason for the "thickness" is due to the fact that it's hard to get a person who chooses their career over their marriage or having children to truly understand the pain that has gone into our journey. She is somewhat condescending in her responses, and some of that shows the fact that she hears info., but doesn't really hear the feelings that are behind what's being said. She said the usual comments a naive person may say to an infertile, "it will happen" (gag me), "what about adoption?", "have you thought about a surrogate?" (is she gonna give us the $60,000 for that?!), etc. And, no, she doesn't know about my blog:) In fact, while we were in Tucson, she made it clear that she thinks FB and blogging are dumb...point taken.
Overall, I am so happy with the support that Conrad and I do have on this journey. Sometimes it'd be nice to know his family is behind us though...emotionally, and maybe even financially. I guess I will take what I can get...which at this point, consists of lots of AMAZING and UNDERSTANDING friends and my family.
However, six months after first talking about it, she brought it up again. I'm sure the family is *dying* to know what's going on with us (and of course they won't ask us to our face...)! After the typical surface-level "how are you?" "fine, how are you?" etc., she jumped into, "haven't you been going to the doctor for some stuff?" So, what did I do? I laid it on thick! Told her about the painful IUIs (which I didn't really want to go into detail about the process...told her to *google* it), the money constraints, etc. The reason for the "thickness" is due to the fact that it's hard to get a person who chooses their career over their marriage or having children to truly understand the pain that has gone into our journey. She is somewhat condescending in her responses, and some of that shows the fact that she hears info., but doesn't really hear the feelings that are behind what's being said. She said the usual comments a naive person may say to an infertile, "it will happen" (gag me), "what about adoption?", "have you thought about a surrogate?" (is she gonna give us the $60,000 for that?!), etc. And, no, she doesn't know about my blog:) In fact, while we were in Tucson, she made it clear that she thinks FB and blogging are dumb...point taken.
Overall, I am so happy with the support that Conrad and I do have on this journey. Sometimes it'd be nice to know his family is behind us though...emotionally, and maybe even financially. I guess I will take what I can get...which at this point, consists of lots of AMAZING and UNDERSTANDING friends and my family.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Trusting in God's Perfect Timing
"He is never late..." I've heard it a million times. I know it in my head, but how do I instill that into the deepest part of my heart? If I had the answer, I'd be a millionaire:) Just kidding, I know that God can do it. In fact, He did do it--at a high price--when He sent His son to take the weight of the world on himself. The positive consequences, namely peace and healing, are what I need to focus on more in my thoughts concerning inferility.
Now that my co-worker told our manager about her pregnancy, it's all out in the open...baby talk, that is. She had her first appointment today, and in my head I kept thinking I have to hear this for 7-8 more months...God help me. I know God will grant me grace...He has through the other million pregnancies going on around me.
A few Sundays ago, as I was admiring a friend's ADORABLE newborn at church, a woman "L" passed and after looking over at the baby, looked at me and said, "you're next." I responded, "I hope so." I appreciate her faith. Normally, I would've shrugged this comment off (about 2 years ago, a woman at church who knew of our struggle said to me, "there will be a baby within the year," and look where that ended up). However, "L" is one that has walked this lonely journey of unfulfillment. The doctors told her and her husband that they would never have biological children. She and her mother did not take "no" for an answer and faithfully pursued God in prayer. I've had her mom pray for Conrad and me a couple of times, and it's great to have her insight as a mother of someone who's dreams of a child have come to fruition. "L" told me after her "you're next" comment that she had prayed so hard for her first child. After having her son, she didn't feel like her family was complete. Because of the emotional struggle of TTC baby #1, her husband was reluctant to jump in again for #2. Six years later...a beautiful daughter blessed their life. There's something about hearing other infertile's share their stories of blessing that keeps me pushing on, even when the going gets tough.
God knows my hopes and dreams of being a mommy. He knows just the right time to fulfill that dream. I do believe that, and I will push on.
"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5I'm sure it would help if I spent more time with Him...in His word, in worship, in prayer, and in silence. I read others' insights into God being a part of their infertility journey, and while it speaks deeply to me and to my faith, I feel like I am lacking wisdom and faith and peace in my own journey. Sure, there are moments of intense peace, or faith, or even joy, but I could sure use more.
Now that my co-worker told our manager about her pregnancy, it's all out in the open...baby talk, that is. She had her first appointment today, and in my head I kept thinking I have to hear this for 7-8 more months...God help me. I know God will grant me grace...He has through the other million pregnancies going on around me.
A few Sundays ago, as I was admiring a friend's ADORABLE newborn at church, a woman "L" passed and after looking over at the baby, looked at me and said, "you're next." I responded, "I hope so." I appreciate her faith. Normally, I would've shrugged this comment off (about 2 years ago, a woman at church who knew of our struggle said to me, "there will be a baby within the year," and look where that ended up). However, "L" is one that has walked this lonely journey of unfulfillment. The doctors told her and her husband that they would never have biological children. She and her mother did not take "no" for an answer and faithfully pursued God in prayer. I've had her mom pray for Conrad and me a couple of times, and it's great to have her insight as a mother of someone who's dreams of a child have come to fruition. "L" told me after her "you're next" comment that she had prayed so hard for her first child. After having her son, she didn't feel like her family was complete. Because of the emotional struggle of TTC baby #1, her husband was reluctant to jump in again for #2. Six years later...a beautiful daughter blessed their life. There's something about hearing other infertile's share their stories of blessing that keeps me pushing on, even when the going gets tough.
God knows my hopes and dreams of being a mommy. He knows just the right time to fulfill that dream. I do believe that, and I will push on.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
And....Another Visit
Awesome. As if one time this month were not enough, AF decided to stop by again on day 18, just to rub it in that she can. Here I thought I had just gotten over "prime time" and had progressed into the 2 week wait. What is happening inside my body??? I don't know, but not what needs to be happening for the result I want! My cycle has been by the book for 3 1/2 years, minus the 2 or 3 times I started a few days late. So, I was quite surprised to find the discomfort I felt on Sunday afternoon/evening was in preparation for AF's visit. I thought it was aches and gas pains from all the eating out I've been doing for my two-week birthday celebration!, because surely AF would not be coming around for at least 10 more days. Just make yourself at home, why don't you? Stop by whenever you like, mi casa es su casa, etc., etc. Grrrr. I wish I knew what all this meant but instead, I'll try and take it in stride...and chase it with 600mg of ibuprofen so I can sleep pain-free tonight.
Saturday, April 09, 2011
Quote of the Day
"Promise me you'll always remember: you're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
-Christopher Robin to Pooh
Friday, April 08, 2011
Birthday Celebration at Work
Have I told you lately that I love my co-workers? I work with 4 of the sweetest, funniest girls at the credit union. We all laugh a lot, and one will belt out songs with me (whether they're playing on the radio or we're doing a cappella). Today we celebrated my birthday since we're all their on Fridays. We got lunch from a local bar & grill, which has the best sandwich EVER. I'd try to describe it, but I will not do it justice. My manager made a delicious chocolate-mint bundt cake; dense chocolate cake marbled with cream-cheese mint filling, draped with hard chocolate shell, and drizzled with mint/whipped topping yumminess. The girls were so sweet and got me a *scentsy* warmer with some scent nuggets. I have been behind the times and haven't bought one yet...just couldn't justify it, even though I wanted one. They are so thoughtful, as are all of my friends. I've said it before, and I know I'll say it again, GOD HAS TOTALLY BLESSED ME WITH THE PEOPLE HE'S PUT IN MY LIFE. 
On a dumb note, my drawer was short $ tonight...not my favorite way to start my birthday weekend:( If you get a second, would you say a little prayer that I can find the offage on Monday (even though 3 of us went through all my work/counted my drawer). I haven't been off in as long as I can remember, and I'm guessing I gave someone a "bonus" and hoping they'll be honest.
On a dumb note, my drawer was short $ tonight...not my favorite way to start my birthday weekend:( If you get a second, would you say a little prayer that I can find the offage on Monday (even though 3 of us went through all my work/counted my drawer). I haven't been off in as long as I can remember, and I'm guessing I gave someone a "bonus" and hoping they'll be honest.
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
Birthday Pedi:)
Yesterday, a close friend surprised me with taking me for a pedicure for my birthday (which is Sunday). I don't think I've had one in 6-7 years, and it was AMAZING!! At first, I was wary because I have two warts on one foot. Sidenote: I was embarassed at first to say I had warts, but I'll tell you everything about TTC:) Anyway, I *googled* "warts and pedis" and it seemed that it wasn't a big deal. Plus, I'm sure they've seen worse feet, like so:
We went to a little Asian place, and had some young Vietnamese men pampering us. Since they massaged up to my kneecaps, I was glad I'd shaved this month!
These aren't my feet, but this is the radiating joy they felt! Thanks, Anjo...You made my day!!!
We went to a little Asian place, and had some young Vietnamese men pampering us. Since they massaged up to my kneecaps, I was glad I'd shaved this month!
These aren't my feet, but this is the radiating joy they felt! Thanks, Anjo...You made my day!!!
Pregnancy Announcements
One day, I will have one. Until then, I will grin and bear it when people tell me they are expecting. On Monday, I heard 3 announcements...2 from married couples (who got pregnant with their first and this second one quickly, of course), and the third one was a 16-year-old girl who came into the credit union. What does a 16-year-old do when she's pregnant? Well, there are a few options, but in the Hispanic culture (have I mentioned that caucasians are the minority in my little town?), you get married. I don't know why people think that just because one's pregnant you have to get married. Seriously? I'm sure their relationship hasn't been built on the things that contribute to a healthy, fun, and even bearable marriage.
Today, my co-worker came into the vault (so my manager couldn't hear!) while I was filing and told me she's pregnant. She's been feeling "weird" for a little while, but has definitely not been TTC. In fact, she hasn't even told her significant other. He's gone half the month for work, so she's waiting till he gets home again, and she's not sure how he'll react (they already have a 6- and 15-year-old).
I'm not expecting everyone to put their baby-making on hold just for me. But, these announcements catch me off guard (esp. the teen and my co-worker), and I am thankful that my emotions are under a little bit more control than they've been in the past. I can't pretend that they don't affect me, because they do. I guess we'll see what God has in store for building my family. Conrad and I aren't done trying (that's for you, Michel), so to speak. But, no clomid, no IUIs, etc. for awhile. I'm kind of okay with it...just because it gets so draining emotionally and physically.
Today, my co-worker came into the vault (so my manager couldn't hear!) while I was filing and told me she's pregnant. She's been feeling "weird" for a little while, but has definitely not been TTC. In fact, she hasn't even told her significant other. He's gone half the month for work, so she's waiting till he gets home again, and she's not sure how he'll react (they already have a 6- and 15-year-old).
I'm not expecting everyone to put their baby-making on hold just for me. But, these announcements catch me off guard (esp. the teen and my co-worker), and I am thankful that my emotions are under a little bit more control than they've been in the past. I can't pretend that they don't affect me, because they do. I guess we'll see what God has in store for building my family. Conrad and I aren't done trying (that's for you, Michel), so to speak. But, no clomid, no IUIs, etc. for awhile. I'm kind of okay with it...just because it gets so draining emotionally and physically.
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