Trip to the Past

When I decided to quit my job as a social worker at a private agency about two years ago, I knew that no matter what, my time there had left an impact on my life. Working with adults labeled with "severe chronic mental illness" was mostly rewarding but also challenging and, at times, heart-breaking. As much as I tried to keep my emotions from taking over, it's hard to immerse yourself into relationships like that without emotion. Overall, I feel like I had a good balance (God knows these people don't need robots spouting off facts to them). Social work is a career with a very high burnout rate, and I hit burnout full speed ahead. Part of me wonders if it was mostly because I was feeling unsettled with things in my own life (i.e. infertility), but regardless, I have not regretted my decision.

After a year and a half since my last day at the agency, I went back yesterday to visit. My old boss needed some help distributing brochures for an upcoming continuing ed presentation, and she also said that a few of the clients had been asking a lot about me. It was nice to volunteer some time to get some free credits, and it was a great excuse to see some of the people that will always have a place in my heart. When I walked in, one client ran over to me, threw his arms open for a hug, and yelled, "Adriane!" *B* started rattling off changes in his life, good and bad, and telling me of some accomplishments he's made. Another client came over with her formerly toothless grin (yay for dentures!), and started telling me how much she misses me. At times, she would stop talking and just stare at me, smiling. When the new social worker came out, *B* said, "This is Adriane, she's the best social worker ever!!" My heart was full!

I saw a few of the other clients I'd known from a few years ago. Things have changed at the agency. Two key group members have passed away in the last few months. There's definitely a void. *F* told me that she has had surgery recently to remove her uterus, which contained a fist-sized tumor. After saying, "you won't even want to look at me," she took off her wig to reveal her baldness, resulting from her chemo treatments as a precaution in case the uterine cancer had spread.

I continue to be amazed at how much people can go through and still continue to fight. I believe God has a special grace on those battling severe chronic mental illness. Yesterday's visit was full of, "Are you coming back to work here?", and "It's just not the same without you," and "You helped me so much." It made me smile from the outside in, because I know that God had me in that place for His purpose, and for His amount of time, to impact people that He loves.