Ugh.

It's bed time, but I needed a quick vent. Quick background--when Conrad and I were dating, I had a mentor. She spoke so much into our dating life and into our future married life. We talked about all the hard stuff, and what it meant to be a godly wife. After we were married we met for another year or so. It was a hard adjustment for Conrad and me, but she assured me, "Adriane, you have a great marriage." I'm not the only one she played mentor to. Fast-forward 8 or so years. She leaves her pastor husband because she's had affairs and "hasn't loved him for the last 10 years" (BS), and moves to some po-dunk (sp?) town where she meets/moves in with an old boyfriend and gets married to him 4 months after the divorce is final. And now...

I just logged onto facebook, and I thought pregnancy announcements from young, happily married Christian friends were hard enough (but doable and exciting at the same time...). However, the one I saw tonight I was not prepared for. She's due at the end of August. I just about died. I'm sure her 19-year-old daughter did too. WHY?! This is when it's hard for me. I'm in a [relatively] young, secure, committed, Christian marriage that has potential for a great family. She's had her chance at a family (3 kids) and chose to walk away from it because she was selfish, and guess who's pregnant? Not me. Ugh.


On a brighter note, Conrad and I had dinner with about 15 close friends that we spent 2+ years of our life with doing a young married couples Bible study. We stopped going about 3 years ago due to our change in schedule/location. It was SOOOO great to see everyone. What a blessing that you can go years without deep interactions with others, and still pick up right where you left off! Something that struck me as "would've used to be hard" was the fact that I sat by 3 pregnant friends at one time, and there were about 8 of the *CUTEST* babies/kids running around, but I didn't have one time that I choked up. A year and a half ago, I would've left after an hour of fake smiling. God is definitely making me stronger and filling me with peace. Yay God!