Thursday, February 23, 2006

Back by popular demand!!!
i'm just kidding, i just thought it was a nice touch since i haven't written in over a week and melissa said she missed it:). this past weekend, i went to american falls to work on our house. i'm so impressed with how it's coming along! it's a beautiful house with a mix of old and new. from the outside, it looks fairly new (the linoleum man asked if it was a new house...), and of course, there's indoor plumbing, etc. but my favorite parts are the dark wood pillars and banister against the freshly painted white walls and the original doors that have been freshly stained/varnished, complete with old-fashioned doorknobs and skeleton keyholes. this part of the house brings you back to the late 1800s when it was build. conrad's grandma said the house was old when she was a kid. crazy. we should be moving in starting this weekend with some little stuff and getting some bigger things (i.e. furniture, washer/dryer, etc.) in during next week. by next weekend we should be sleeping in our own house!! this makes me very happy:). i will have to admit that i've been bitter at times for having to live in my parents' house because i felt as though i'd been jipped. but looking back on it (it's easier with a light at the end of the tunnel), it's been a good thing that we've lived here. my sister was talking the other day with some friends and said conrad and i have been her sanity (since starting college and being upset she's had to live at home). also, with my mom's cancer it's been good that we've been here, both for her sake and probably moreso for mine. my dad's depression has been stirred up more and more since life has taken some grieving turns, and one night he asked my mom, sister, me, and conrad to pray for him (yeah, God!!!). so, when i look at it this way (the un-self-absorbed way), it's been a season in itself... one i never pictured myself having, but i'm glad it happened.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Hooray for wonderful friends, booo to graveyards!!
So today at church I was talking with some friends and not seeing Conrad very much, especially lately, as he's worked 4 graveyards in a row and 2 nights (or mornings, rather) he just stayed in American Falls to sleep so he wouldn't drive up and back just to sleep and see me for 5 minutes before I went to work. She commented, "I don't know how you do it." I replied, "I don't either, but part of it is having wonderful friends I can hang out with." Seriously, I have been thinking (actually for a long while) that I have the world's greatest friends!! Yep, that's all of you reading this blog and those who don't, who won't ever know this was written in the first place.... Anyway....I have so much fun with you all, and I love laughing about "Peppermint _____" (fill in the blank Sara) and fumbling straws around at Fazoli's with Steph and maintaining iron-strength will-power as the breadstick man came by with his basket of fresh-out-of-the-oven-melt-in-your-mouth-carb-delights, sitting next to Holly at the movie and spilling half my popcorn and oohing and aahing over the cute little kids (Holly, it's been far too long since we've watched a movie together!), hanging out with Melissa and her new beautiful daughter at Emily's house, where Em's NEW stove is hard at work making yummy treats, and all the while, missing Fawn cuz she's relaxing at her fam's cabin (lucky!!!). So this only includes highlights from my last weekend, but seriously, God has blessed with such wonderful people to hang out with, that going 48 hours without seeing Conrad isn't near as bad as it could be. I am thankful that tonight is his LAST NIGHT!!! So now he'll get to come and hang around with me and my wonderful friends:) I know this seems to be going on and on, but I'm just realizing more and more how blessed I am. Hope you all have a great week! It's the week of looooooooove...rar!!

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Getting zapped...
On a lighter note since my last entry... today I got my 4th installment of zaps to my face. The sound effects are probably one of the worst parts, the beep-sssst 400 times can get to be too much. The nightmares the night before are also bad--dreams that I didn't get enough numbing stuff on, that I'm late for work afterward, that I don't wake up on time for my appointment, or all of the above and the fact that when I woke up I had dreamt so much of my day I was sure it was Wednesday! I woke up about every hour on the hour because I was so worried about not hearing my 6:30 alarm--way too early for this girl, but if I sleep in, I sacrifice numbing power, so it's worth it. All in all, I'm wondering if the red spots, the pain, and the emotional distress are all worth it, but I'm PRAYING God will allow my face to come into alignment with His Kingdom after all these years of beautiful acne and scarring:) Feel free to join in the prayers. One of my biggest comforts is that my sister is doing the same thing, and so we can share our zapping experiences with each other. This usually comes long after the numbing wears off on whoever went that day, which is good because it gives the numbing effects to wear off so one is able to smile, talk, breath, drink, put on chapstick, etc. normally before engaging in another heartwarming conversation. If anyone is thinking about Smoothbeam Laser out there, feel free to give me and/or Pooh a call, and we'll tell you some fun stories. I hope this has been delightful and insightful reading for all of you!!!

Sunday, February 05, 2006

The cross before me, the world behind...
This song has been my theme song since Thursday night at Chi Alpha. I've been kinda down lately just thinking about the negative things in my life--Grandma Manske dying, mom's cancer issues, dad's legal issues (on top of seeing him continually struggle with depression, death of his mom, death of close friend 3 months ago, mom's stuff...). Frankly, it's draining the life out of me. But back to Thursday night...during this song, God showed me that it's not so much the cross before me and the world behind me as if it's not an issue, but the cross is right in front of me--so magnificent, illuminating, amazing--that the world behind the cross is blurry, unimportant, and almost irrelevant in the big scheme of things. The cross, the redeeming work of Jesus, as my main focus in life is what brings life, joy, and everything good God has in store for me. God continued to work in my life as we had a worship night on Friday, and God revealed even more to me about this vision from Chi Alpha. He showed me that not only is the "world" behind the cross circumstances in my life, but bitterness, lack of contentment, and self-focus, etc., etc. The cross covers ALL these things so I can have abundant life!!! As we sang the song about giving up our dreams, laying down our rights, and surrendering all to Him, it was all I could do not to break down weeping. I realized that it's been months since I've felt so overwhelmed by feeling a lack of desperation for God in my life. I've been so wrapped up in Adriane that I've lost focus on God and the plan He has. I left feeling so uplifted, as if I'd been saturated in God. Today at church, God continued with an awesome service. Everyone was so free, the presence of God was thick, and there was intense unity. I pray God continues to move in my life, my marriage, my family, in my friends, in XA, at River of Life, and in Pocatello. God is faithful! I hope all this made sense, it's kinda hard to express over the computer, but I tried:)