rollercoaster...
so before you start diagnosing me...:) i sometimes do this to myself, but then remember that i need to NOT do that because it's not who i am. i just read an email from a close friend and between reading that (at work...naughty) and my own contemplations last night as i talked with conrad, i'm getting more insight. i didn't cry on the way to work today, already better than last monday! i know we all go through rollercoaster emotions and i think a lot of mine lately has to do with longing for a new season in my life--motherhood. everytime it doesn't happen i get all sorts of messed up. i'm no longer content with my job (did i mention i'm writing this at work?) and in my mind i think, wouldn't it just be more simple to quit because i'm pregnant rather than explain burnout to my boss, clients, in-laws? and no, this is NOT the reason i want a baby. i'm just ready to NOT be a careerwoman. it's never what i wanted. a former co-worker offered to email me about new jobs he hears about with the state and i was tempted, but that's not what i want. i want to see conrad more and i want to be a mom. God, help me as i deal with the burnout and the waiting!!! and God bless those who read this blog and my rantings and ravings!!!