in my head...
i have lots of things spinning around in my head. no, i'm not going to write them all down. it may seem as though i do give a lot of info on my blog, maybe more than some, but there are some things that i think that will never be written. thank God for conrad. and thank God for God. i don't always know how to deal with such thoughts. i pray a lot but i struggle with seeing it totally work. which leads me to the message at church today, or at least a small part of what i got out of it. God is allowing this "storm" to build my faith and trust in Him. i know this, but i just want to add that storms suck. i know i'll come out at the other side but i always pray that i'll have the strength to endure the struggle. if i hadn't had a birthday party today i would've stayed at home in bed. i guess God wanted me to get out and go to church, even if i can barely say the words during worship. i know the things that rod shares about God and out of the Bible, but any ideas how to make them a part of me...more than just head knowledge?? i'm sick of crying all the time. i'm sick of beating myself up. i'm sick of not being content and happy. i'm sick of being surface-level. like i asked before...any ideas? i'm beginning to feel like a client and am going back and forth between "publish post" and the delete key...