God looks on the inside, but man, i'm sure feeling the outside!!
so a few weeks ago i noticed three small red dots on the left (my left looking down on it) side a little over from my belly button. they were a little itchy, but nothing major. a week later, my stomach was full of those red dots and itch soooooooooooooooooo bad!!! a week later (today) i'm in agony as i try to keep my prying fingernails away from my itchy belly, right (again, my right, looking down on it) thigh and hip, my forearms, and other places that we'll not mention (it's not exactly what you're thinking, i'm sure). plus i have sporadic ones on my calves (don't worry, i only shaved over 20 of them) and they're creeping up my back. the one on my stomach, as of one second ago is slowly becoming one big mass, about 1 x 3 inches. i'm so itchy and i'm feeling disdain for being in my skin right now. what is wrong with me?!?! my sister says "go to the dermatologist" my coworker says "my chiropractor has this stuff...." so my question is, how am i going to go, with my good looks? this is a downside for not having insurance. i'm going to try an oatmeal bath (if i get the time), benadryl and zantac. the latter two are supposedly a wonderful mix that hits both histamine receptors (glad dad's a pharmacist). pray for my skin please. it's worse with the hot weather. i just want to sit at home with my big belly hanging out with ice all over me. oh yeah, and my right big toenail is falling off (well, just 1/3 of it...but still...maybe God's giving me a lesson on vanity!!! thanks for listening to my bodily news!
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Monday, June 19, 2006
life in the country...
so i'm still getting used to living in AF, i was telling julie last week that on tuesday night when i was taking the exit, i thought to myself--i'm getting used to it out here, and i like it out here. yeah, i have to do a little more planning to hang out with friends, wake up earlier to get to curves/work, and can't just go to walmart when i need to pick up something, but i do like my new home and my new town. when i went to the thrift store, the lady said, "hi honey, how are you," because she's seen me before. it's more personal. on friday my dad and i went hogwild in the flower department at fred meyer. i got some lilies, hydrangea(sp?), and some other cute flowers, and went to work planting them sat. morning after my walk. gardening is so peaceful. that was until i was on my hands and knees and a huge rodent ran out from underneath the house about a foot from my hand. i screamed, it stopped and looked at me with huge eyes. the rockchuck (maybe two words? maybe hyphenated?) and i scared each other almost to death. then it ran around the house and i followed it asking in my sweetest, don't bite my cankle rockchuck voice "what are you?" at this point, i was still to startled to think this animal was one of the rockchucks conrad and josh had been talking about hunting with guns. i'll have to admit it was cute. they're about kiki's size but with stubby legs and they waddle cuz they're fat. and, i think they are what's been eating my blooms. grrr. i saw a ton from there on out over the weekend. when conrad came home for lunch, we heard something at the top of the stairs to the cellar. conrad went to investigate, and i went, barefooted, down the stairs behind him, watching my step very carefully and making a mental note not to step in the pile of rockchuck crap on one stair. the animal stared at us as we stared at it, then we headed back up, as i was kinda scared of having bare feet in this area of the house. i got to the top of the stairs and into the dining room and noticed my foot wasn't moving as free as usual. oh, that's cuz i stepped in the pile of crap!! i screamed and conrad came to the rescue. i was grossed out. conrad called someone to get some poison. i went to pick it up and luckily before i bought it i asked how to use it. he said, "just light the fuse and put it in the whole." i said, "what if the holes are under/in our house?" he said, "mmmm...probably don't wanna use this." cool. so i don't know what we're going to do. i swear, i've had more wild varmit interactions in 3 months than in my whole life. the foxes have moved though, giving the rockchucks more room to grow their families... oh!! something cute... last night i went with conrad to move a wheel line and in the cover over the motor there's a robin's nest with 3 babies. they still have their eyes closed and just a tiny bit of fuzz. when we looked in, they opened their mouths and made little sounds. i'm going to try to take some pics. they were soooooo cute! well, i've babbled enough. i guess i just have a lot to say about my weekend, it was a good one... have a good week everyone!
so i'm still getting used to living in AF, i was telling julie last week that on tuesday night when i was taking the exit, i thought to myself--i'm getting used to it out here, and i like it out here. yeah, i have to do a little more planning to hang out with friends, wake up earlier to get to curves/work, and can't just go to walmart when i need to pick up something, but i do like my new home and my new town. when i went to the thrift store, the lady said, "hi honey, how are you," because she's seen me before. it's more personal. on friday my dad and i went hogwild in the flower department at fred meyer. i got some lilies, hydrangea(sp?), and some other cute flowers, and went to work planting them sat. morning after my walk. gardening is so peaceful. that was until i was on my hands and knees and a huge rodent ran out from underneath the house about a foot from my hand. i screamed, it stopped and looked at me with huge eyes. the rockchuck (maybe two words? maybe hyphenated?) and i scared each other almost to death. then it ran around the house and i followed it asking in my sweetest, don't bite my cankle rockchuck voice "what are you?" at this point, i was still to startled to think this animal was one of the rockchucks conrad and josh had been talking about hunting with guns. i'll have to admit it was cute. they're about kiki's size but with stubby legs and they waddle cuz they're fat. and, i think they are what's been eating my blooms. grrr. i saw a ton from there on out over the weekend. when conrad came home for lunch, we heard something at the top of the stairs to the cellar. conrad went to investigate, and i went, barefooted, down the stairs behind him, watching my step very carefully and making a mental note not to step in the pile of rockchuck crap on one stair. the animal stared at us as we stared at it, then we headed back up, as i was kinda scared of having bare feet in this area of the house. i got to the top of the stairs and into the dining room and noticed my foot wasn't moving as free as usual. oh, that's cuz i stepped in the pile of crap!! i screamed and conrad came to the rescue. i was grossed out. conrad called someone to get some poison. i went to pick it up and luckily before i bought it i asked how to use it. he said, "just light the fuse and put it in the whole." i said, "what if the holes are under/in our house?" he said, "mmmm...probably don't wanna use this." cool. so i don't know what we're going to do. i swear, i've had more wild varmit interactions in 3 months than in my whole life. the foxes have moved though, giving the rockchucks more room to grow their families... oh!! something cute... last night i went with conrad to move a wheel line and in the cover over the motor there's a robin's nest with 3 babies. they still have their eyes closed and just a tiny bit of fuzz. when we looked in, they opened their mouths and made little sounds. i'm going to try to take some pics. they were soooooo cute! well, i've babbled enough. i guess i just have a lot to say about my weekend, it was a good one... have a good week everyone!
Monday, June 05, 2006
stay with me...
so i drove to work today as i typically do, stopping at walmart to do some stuff before work (i definitely recommend 7:30 am to do returns/any other shopping at walmart). i dreaded the week starting, paperwork, coming up with groups, errands--which i never seem to run out of--and basically feeling like i'd be okay with just staying in AF and going with conrad for the day. work started out normal. ate breakfast and read through the sunday paper and talked to the clients. the clients started playing bingo and i sat at the desk. all the sudden i heard a gasp and moan and looked up and one of the clients who's in a wheelchair was slumped back with client's head hanging over the back. the secretary looked up but then back at her work. it didn't look normal to me so i went over to the client and asked if they were okay. client couldn't answer me and was struggling to breathe. i rolled client out of the group room saying cheerfully, "let's go get some fresh air." i rolled client to the front of the building and started talking, saying client looked beautiful today, did client eat breakfast?, are you in pain? client couldn't respond, just kept gasping. the secretary came out with the phone and i said that i think we need to call 911. she did and they sent an ambulance. those 3-5 minutes or whatever seemed like an eternity and i was praying client didn't die in front of me. at one point client said to me bearly audibly "i don't feel good honey." my emotions were running rampant. it's amazing how attached you get. i just kept rubbing client's arm and saying, "stay with me, stay with me." her eyes rolled back and closed, but i kept talking and got client to respond. i kept telling client that help was on the way and client would nod. ambulance go there and asked a bunch of questions. i answered some, but got choked up and started crying. this was how my grandma manske was one of the last times i saw her--unaware of surroundings, couldn't talk. luckily the secretary and other social worker came out and answered more questions. tears were rolling out the clients face as they took client to the ambulance. we had to have a group session to process this with the other clients. thank you, God, that two master level SWs were there to lead that. after this, the day actually got better and turned into a good monday. in the afternoon, we learned client was being released and nothing had come back abnormal. i don't know what the heck happened then, but i literally felt like client was seconds from death when i was with client. i'm thinking maybe client was dehydrated? client came by afterward in van and i opened the door and when client saw me client go a big smile and said loud and clear "hi darling!" and grabbed my arm. client looked well and was excited to hear that bowling day is tomorrow. i'm so glad i have God in my life to help me through these emotional times. i have a note steph gave me a while ago in my work bag, and i read that about 5 times today, too:) it all turned out okay, though i still have flashbacks of grief for my grandma. i guess it's only been about 5 months ago, but it's still hard. and i found out thursday that our vacation to vancouver, wa was cancelled b/c my grandpa can't trust his health enough to buy a plane ticket months in advance. so, i'm thinking last summer was the last time i'll see my grandpa too--i was really counting on this trip to bring some closure with my grandma and with him, since his health is bad and minnesota is over $400 away. death sucks. not in the eternal aspect, but i think you all know what i mean...
so i drove to work today as i typically do, stopping at walmart to do some stuff before work (i definitely recommend 7:30 am to do returns/any other shopping at walmart). i dreaded the week starting, paperwork, coming up with groups, errands--which i never seem to run out of--and basically feeling like i'd be okay with just staying in AF and going with conrad for the day. work started out normal. ate breakfast and read through the sunday paper and talked to the clients. the clients started playing bingo and i sat at the desk. all the sudden i heard a gasp and moan and looked up and one of the clients who's in a wheelchair was slumped back with client's head hanging over the back. the secretary looked up but then back at her work. it didn't look normal to me so i went over to the client and asked if they were okay. client couldn't answer me and was struggling to breathe. i rolled client out of the group room saying cheerfully, "let's go get some fresh air." i rolled client to the front of the building and started talking, saying client looked beautiful today, did client eat breakfast?, are you in pain? client couldn't respond, just kept gasping. the secretary came out with the phone and i said that i think we need to call 911. she did and they sent an ambulance. those 3-5 minutes or whatever seemed like an eternity and i was praying client didn't die in front of me. at one point client said to me bearly audibly "i don't feel good honey." my emotions were running rampant. it's amazing how attached you get. i just kept rubbing client's arm and saying, "stay with me, stay with me." her eyes rolled back and closed, but i kept talking and got client to respond. i kept telling client that help was on the way and client would nod. ambulance go there and asked a bunch of questions. i answered some, but got choked up and started crying. this was how my grandma manske was one of the last times i saw her--unaware of surroundings, couldn't talk. luckily the secretary and other social worker came out and answered more questions. tears were rolling out the clients face as they took client to the ambulance. we had to have a group session to process this with the other clients. thank you, God, that two master level SWs were there to lead that. after this, the day actually got better and turned into a good monday. in the afternoon, we learned client was being released and nothing had come back abnormal. i don't know what the heck happened then, but i literally felt like client was seconds from death when i was with client. i'm thinking maybe client was dehydrated? client came by afterward in van and i opened the door and when client saw me client go a big smile and said loud and clear "hi darling!" and grabbed my arm. client looked well and was excited to hear that bowling day is tomorrow. i'm so glad i have God in my life to help me through these emotional times. i have a note steph gave me a while ago in my work bag, and i read that about 5 times today, too:) it all turned out okay, though i still have flashbacks of grief for my grandma. i guess it's only been about 5 months ago, but it's still hard. and i found out thursday that our vacation to vancouver, wa was cancelled b/c my grandpa can't trust his health enough to buy a plane ticket months in advance. so, i'm thinking last summer was the last time i'll see my grandpa too--i was really counting on this trip to bring some closure with my grandma and with him, since his health is bad and minnesota is over $400 away. death sucks. not in the eternal aspect, but i think you all know what i mean...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)