On Tuesday, I received the best Valentine's gift a girl could ask for...I got to see my baby!! Conrad and I had our first appointment with the Doctor on the 14th, and besides the usual, check-up stuff, she did an ultrasound.
When I saw that little outline on the screen, it seemed as if I was peering into someone else's live, surely not my own!! Doctor got a few pictures of baby, including one where baby's hand are raised up as if he/she is waving at us:) If I had access to my scanner (and computer, for that matter) I'd try to scan the blurry pictures that only a mother could love to try and show off my little munchkin!! I was 12w5d according to the measurement on the ultrasound, which is right where I thought I was. My due date will remain August 25, 2012 (YES, I'M GOING TO BE A MOMMY IN 2012!!!).
I continue to be overwhelmed with the vastness of God's love toward Conrad and I as we journey on into the adventure of mommy- and daddyhood. So surreal.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Friday, February 03, 2012
Series of Unexpected Events
Tonight I'm going to stay late at work so I can catch up on my blog! So crazy being without internet at my beckon call. Hopefully it makes some sense, because at this time on a Friday night after working all day at a financial institution, I am drained!!
During the last weekend of October, I went to a women's convention in Boise. This was my 3rd time going to this convention, and the speakers at the two previous really touched me because they'd both struggled through infertility. I had them both pray for me, but didn't become pregnant (I've had LOTS of prayer, but I guess it just wasn't God's timing yet). Though I thoroughly enjoyed the fellowship, the speaker that time was not my favorite. They had talked about her having a gift of healing, and when she called people who wanted healing to the altar during the last session, I sat with my arms crossed at first. I've been prayed for a million times, and it hasn't worked like I wanted it to yet!! However, I came to the conclusion in the next few minutes that I should just go up there...maybe this would be the time. She prayed specifically for me and infertility as I placed my hands over my womb. I didn't feel anything special physically, but did feel a little bit more peace.
As we headed into "winter", meaning after harvest, I was dreading that we were heading into our next round of "trying" since Conrad was winding down. I pleaded with God because I did not want to go through the IUIs again, and we didn't have money for IVF. I decided instead to try accupuncture, which I did twice in December. On December 1st, I had my first accupuncture appointment...fancy that, I happened to be ovulating (good, he said). I scheduled an appointment for the 13th, and at that point he told me to call and schudule my next treatment on the first day of my next period. Meanwhile...
December 8th rocked our world with a house fire. The fire was small, though the restoration company has told us numerous times that it is the worst smoke damage they've ever seen. Out main floor has been torn apart since then, and I'm anticipating being able to "move in" again by March (fingers crossed...we are currently living in the basement...no kitchen, no appliances). We lived with my in-laws for a week and a half while they gutted it and got the basement in good enough order to live in. On December 17th, I took a pregnancy test at my in-laws' (awkward!) and it was negative. No surprise. Life as [kind of] usual carried on, as it does when you're "homeless" and heading toward Christmas. We were living in our basement, and on Christmas I was looking for some heartache (as infertiles do) and took another pregnancy test because I was a week late and had some pains in my pelvic area. Negative. Okay. Used to this.
I'm pretty sure I'm not alone when I say that holidays are hard for people longing for a baby. It seems as if I would always think maybe this Christmas, maybe on my birthday, maybe on Mother's or Father's Day, etc., etc. I trucked through the holidays with a smile plastered on my face, though somewhat more hopeful than usual feeling like we were doing something (accupunture) to move us forward toward parenthood. I kept telling my co-workers I wasn't feeling quite right and a few said they had pains like I was having when they were first pregnant, "But I've taken 2 tests and they were negative!"
On New Year's Eve, I had a pity party because I was thinking about entering another year, childless. Somehow overnight, however, I got a wild hare to take a test in the morning. I did, and it was POSITIVE! I went and told Conrad but we didn't get too excited. I took 2 more tests. POSITIVE!! I decided I had better get a "fresh" test after church since the 3 I took had been in the fire. I got a 2-pack and took one right when I got home (that was a looooooong church service!!). POSITIVE!!! I wanted to take the 2nd one of the pack, but Conrad assured me that with four positives, it was safe to assume that I was pregnant. I instantly wanted to find out my due date and how far along I was. According to my calculations on the computer, I was 6 weeks when I found out, and my due date is August 25th. Week 6 was long because we weren't going to tell anyone until we'd told my parents on the next Sunday, before we left the country for 2 weeks.
sidenote: Did I mention that in November we made a commitment to go to St. Lucia for a missions trip to build a church from Jan. 10-25th? Can you say crazy timing?! end sidenote.
My family was ecstatic. There were tears and hugs all around. The only other people we told were the church council members at Conrad's meeting Monday night because we wanted there to be a group praying for me while we were on this trip that included physical labor traveling. Everything went fine, and it was funny because in St. Lucia, it was common knowledge that I was pregnant (mainly because the second week the all-day morning sickness began). The team would tease, "Does baby want ______?", fill in the blank with ice cream, beef, candy, etc. I came back to America and told only close friends until we had a chance to tell Conrad's family.
We told them a few days after we got back, then made the big Facebook announcement (doesn't that make things official?).
It is so surreal, still, that I am pregnant. Yesterday, we had our first appointment with the nurse (10 1/2 weeks...a little late b/c I was out of the country!), and got to hear the heartbeat. I just about melted.
My first doctor's appointment is on Valentine's Day, and they will do an ultrasound. It is all so amazing. It's had to believe that it's happening, and I'm so grateful that God didn't give up on Conrad and I being parents. I've known all along that He has the perfect timing, but it's SO hard to wait for some dreams to come true. I feel blessed beyond belief that the physical part of infertility is over, and there's a beautiful baby growing inside of me (against A LOT of odds!). I know the emotions of infertility will never leave, though they will fade, I'm sure.
My heart still goes out to those waiting for their miracle. I will never stop believing it for you or praying for you. Our God is strong, and able, and oh-so-good. May He increase all of our faith as we hear more and more stories of babies coming into our lives.
During the last weekend of October, I went to a women's convention in Boise. This was my 3rd time going to this convention, and the speakers at the two previous really touched me because they'd both struggled through infertility. I had them both pray for me, but didn't become pregnant (I've had LOTS of prayer, but I guess it just wasn't God's timing yet). Though I thoroughly enjoyed the fellowship, the speaker that time was not my favorite. They had talked about her having a gift of healing, and when she called people who wanted healing to the altar during the last session, I sat with my arms crossed at first. I've been prayed for a million times, and it hasn't worked like I wanted it to yet!! However, I came to the conclusion in the next few minutes that I should just go up there...maybe this would be the time. She prayed specifically for me and infertility as I placed my hands over my womb. I didn't feel anything special physically, but did feel a little bit more peace.
As we headed into "winter", meaning after harvest, I was dreading that we were heading into our next round of "trying" since Conrad was winding down. I pleaded with God because I did not want to go through the IUIs again, and we didn't have money for IVF. I decided instead to try accupuncture, which I did twice in December. On December 1st, I had my first accupuncture appointment...fancy that, I happened to be ovulating (good, he said). I scheduled an appointment for the 13th, and at that point he told me to call and schudule my next treatment on the first day of my next period. Meanwhile...
December 8th rocked our world with a house fire. The fire was small, though the restoration company has told us numerous times that it is the worst smoke damage they've ever seen. Out main floor has been torn apart since then, and I'm anticipating being able to "move in" again by March (fingers crossed...we are currently living in the basement...no kitchen, no appliances). We lived with my in-laws for a week and a half while they gutted it and got the basement in good enough order to live in. On December 17th, I took a pregnancy test at my in-laws' (awkward!) and it was negative. No surprise. Life as [kind of] usual carried on, as it does when you're "homeless" and heading toward Christmas. We were living in our basement, and on Christmas I was looking for some heartache (as infertiles do) and took another pregnancy test because I was a week late and had some pains in my pelvic area. Negative. Okay. Used to this.
I'm pretty sure I'm not alone when I say that holidays are hard for people longing for a baby. It seems as if I would always think maybe this Christmas, maybe on my birthday, maybe on Mother's or Father's Day, etc., etc. I trucked through the holidays with a smile plastered on my face, though somewhat more hopeful than usual feeling like we were doing something (accupunture) to move us forward toward parenthood. I kept telling my co-workers I wasn't feeling quite right and a few said they had pains like I was having when they were first pregnant, "But I've taken 2 tests and they were negative!"
On New Year's Eve, I had a pity party because I was thinking about entering another year, childless. Somehow overnight, however, I got a wild hare to take a test in the morning. I did, and it was POSITIVE! I went and told Conrad but we didn't get too excited. I took 2 more tests. POSITIVE!! I decided I had better get a "fresh" test after church since the 3 I took had been in the fire. I got a 2-pack and took one right when I got home (that was a looooooong church service!!). POSITIVE!!! I wanted to take the 2nd one of the pack, but Conrad assured me that with four positives, it was safe to assume that I was pregnant. I instantly wanted to find out my due date and how far along I was. According to my calculations on the computer, I was 6 weeks when I found out, and my due date is August 25th. Week 6 was long because we weren't going to tell anyone until we'd told my parents on the next Sunday, before we left the country for 2 weeks.
sidenote: Did I mention that in November we made a commitment to go to St. Lucia for a missions trip to build a church from Jan. 10-25th? Can you say crazy timing?! end sidenote.
My family was ecstatic. There were tears and hugs all around. The only other people we told were the church council members at Conrad's meeting Monday night because we wanted there to be a group praying for me while we were on this trip that included physical labor traveling. Everything went fine, and it was funny because in St. Lucia, it was common knowledge that I was pregnant (mainly because the second week the all-day morning sickness began). The team would tease, "Does baby want ______?", fill in the blank with ice cream, beef, candy, etc. I came back to America and told only close friends until we had a chance to tell Conrad's family.
We told them a few days after we got back, then made the big Facebook announcement (doesn't that make things official?).
It is so surreal, still, that I am pregnant. Yesterday, we had our first appointment with the nurse (10 1/2 weeks...a little late b/c I was out of the country!), and got to hear the heartbeat. I just about melted.
My first doctor's appointment is on Valentine's Day, and they will do an ultrasound. It is all so amazing. It's had to believe that it's happening, and I'm so grateful that God didn't give up on Conrad and I being parents. I've known all along that He has the perfect timing, but it's SO hard to wait for some dreams to come true. I feel blessed beyond belief that the physical part of infertility is over, and there's a beautiful baby growing inside of me (against A LOT of odds!). I know the emotions of infertility will never leave, though they will fade, I'm sure.
My heart still goes out to those waiting for their miracle. I will never stop believing it for you or praying for you. Our God is strong, and able, and oh-so-good. May He increase all of our faith as we hear more and more stories of babies coming into our lives.
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