there is an empty room...
"There is an empty room
In which no child sleeps;
Just a rocking chair, a teddy bear,
The baby clothes they keep.
It is a quiet room
With everything in its place;
But no happy sighs or lullabies,
No child in their embrace.
There is an empty crip
In the corner, tucked away;
The gentle light of the moon shines bright
As they kneel by the crib to pray...
'Remove all bitter thoughts,
Your will is what we seek.
Dry our tears and calm our fears,
Lift us up, for we are weak.'

There is an empty room
In which no child sleeps.
But they know the love of a Father above,
And His promises He keeps."
from When the Cradle is Empty


though i read this poem before when i started to read this book a few months ago, i found it again as i was searching for my own solace, as well as getting the book ready to bring to a friend who miscarried (for the 2nd time). i saw her yesterday for the first time since the loss and as crocodile tears rolled down her face and i embraced her, too choked up for a quick reply, my heart broke. we are both so hopeful for a baby to come into our lives. we both have a room that's waiting--with plans of how to fix it up, we both have some clothes waiting for a little warm body to fill them, and we both are experiencing heartache that's difficult to understand except for by those who have walked the same lonely road. as conrad and i were talking about our plans for our house by priority, he interuppted me as i skipped over a room and said, "isn't the baby's room next?" i know he thinks about it more than he lets on. we will continue to pray for a miracle, whether it be physical (healing in conrad and i) or financial (in-vitro, art.insem, adoption). i also pray for peace, patience, and comfort for every person who is experiencing this type of quiet grief.