beware!!...
now that we have a patio, i thought i'd put out a frog solar light that conrad's grandma and uncle gave me for my birthday a few years ago. is it something i would've picked out?? no, but it's pretty cute in its own sort of way and so the other night i took it out and read the instructions (it's supposed to have solar activated lights and such). i found a few of the "important safety instructions" a little over the top:

*dress properly: protective, electrically nonconductive clothes and nonskid footwear are recommended when working with the Smiling Frog Solar Light. wear restrictive hair covering to contain long hair.

*use eye protection: always wear ANSI approved impact safety goggles when setting up this product.

*do not overreach: keep proper footing and balance at all times.

*do not set up the solar light if under the influence of alcohol or drugs: read warning labels on prescriptions to determine if your judgment or reflexes are impaired while taking drugs. if there is any doubt, do not set up the Smiling Frog Solar Light.

*the Smiling Frog Solar Light is not waterproof and must not be set in water such as pools and ponds. (dang, i wanted to bathe with it!)

and last but not least, a disclaimer to release the Smiling Frog Solar Light people of any liability:

*WARNING: the warnings, cautions, and instructions discussed in this instruction manual cannot cover all possible conditions and situations that may occur. it must be understood by the operator that common sense and caution are factors which cannot be built into this product, but must be supplied by the operator.


***couldn't we have said this from the beginning?? too bad many people lack "common" sense, but i guess it gives those of us WITH it a good laugh while reading through the manual for our Smiling Frog Solar Light!!

there is an empty room...
"There is an empty room
In which no child sleeps;
Just a rocking chair, a teddy bear,
The baby clothes they keep.
It is a quiet room
With everything in its place;
But no happy sighs or lullabies,
No child in their embrace.
There is an empty crip
In the corner, tucked away;
The gentle light of the moon shines bright
As they kneel by the crib to pray...
'Remove all bitter thoughts,
Your will is what we seek.
Dry our tears and calm our fears,
Lift us up, for we are weak.'

There is an empty room
In which no child sleeps.
But they know the love of a Father above,
And His promises He keeps."
from When the Cradle is Empty


though i read this poem before when i started to read this book a few months ago, i found it again as i was searching for my own solace, as well as getting the book ready to bring to a friend who miscarried (for the 2nd time). i saw her yesterday for the first time since the loss and as crocodile tears rolled down her face and i embraced her, too choked up for a quick reply, my heart broke. we are both so hopeful for a baby to come into our lives. we both have a room that's waiting--with plans of how to fix it up, we both have some clothes waiting for a little warm body to fill them, and we both are experiencing heartache that's difficult to understand except for by those who have walked the same lonely road. as conrad and i were talking about our plans for our house by priority, he interuppted me as i skipped over a room and said, "isn't the baby's room next?" i know he thinks about it more than he lets on. we will continue to pray for a miracle, whether it be physical (healing in conrad and i) or financial (in-vitro, art.insem, adoption). i also pray for peace, patience, and comfort for every person who is experiencing this type of quiet grief.

perspective...
although i've gone through hard times, and sure i will go through more in the future, God is showing me that i need to not be so self-focused. i learned last weekend that my personality type, "melancholy," can include, to name a few negative sides, negative thinking and self-focus. God help me! last night i heard about a close friend miscarrying. my heart broke. we had already gone shopping for baby clothes and talked oodles about names, nursery ideas, and how excited she and especially her husband were. what a letdown. even though i'm walking the road of infertility, i thank God that i haven't had to walk the miscarriage road. i can't imagine such a loss. then at work today my co-worker got a phone call that her apartment complex was on fire. she left in a hurry to check on her dog who was in the apt. thankfully her husband and 3 girls were gone. she didn't return for hours and when we finally heard back from her, she was in tears as she told my other co-worker over the phone that it was her apartment that was on fire. it started in the kitchen and i'm not sure at this point how far it spread. God, thank you for protecting me from these things and thank you for reminding me to focus outward...