where's the balance in faith?...
i'm having a bit of an internal struggle maybe you all can help me out with...your input and prayers would be appreciated. i wrote earlier about talking to someone about fertility meds and now that it's coming to time to go back after tracking my BBT and make a plan, i'm struggling with whether to go or not. on one hand, i, growing up as the daughter of a man who absolutely believes in the advances in modern medicine, want to go and get the drugs and see if we can get this baby started!! on the other hand, i wonder if i just need to wait for God's timing and see if anything happens... actually, i'm not as spiritual most the time when i think about this option...it usually goes more like "screw it!" and trying to make myself believe i don't care. that doesn't work too well. there are days i'm okay with one option, and other days i'm okay with the other. the other kicker is that the $5,000 maternity deductible we need to come up with for a pregnancy was necessary to complete the purchase of our house and the wheat prices are down. i'm praying HARD for answers!!! i don't feel like i'm getting any. i'm trying to figure out the balance between just trusthing that God's going to make things happen and not pursuing fertility stuff OR pursuing the wonders of modern medicine, all the while needing to trust God. hmmmmm......
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
i got bored yesterday...
after puttering around the house yesterday doing this and that, putting things away, etc., i had a lull and thought what should i do now? take a bath? read? as i was standing in one of the bedrooms (for now the guest room, someday the baby's room) i decided to see how hard it'd be to take down the hideous light pink/white lacey-looking wallpaper. this was the result of my boredom. now to figure out how to get off the leftover residue (the entryway wallpaper was not nearly as tough!)...
Friday, January 09, 2009
the living room transformation...
i'm finally posting some pics from the changes that occured in my "tangerina" living room/heavily leafed wallpapered entry-way (feel free to come and see it in person, it looks better that way):
***this lovely wallpaper was complete was stringy strings that ran vertically every 1/8 inch or so. conrad enjoyed tearing it out...and don't you just love the orange!! the room had 70s orange furniture in it when we first looked at the house...
***even the white primer made a huge difference...thanks for the help, susan! conrad and susan were the roller champs...i'm more ADHD and kept moving from corners to edges to around sockets with the paintbrush. 
***the finished product!! "firewood" is a lovely color, not too dark, but not too light. i love the contrast of the crown moulding and can't wait to get my furniture in there and have our first shindig!!!
Thursday, January 08, 2009
a positve note...
i told myself i had to post something positive since i haven't felt positive for the last couple of days. i felt like i accomplished a lot in the past few days as far as putting stuff away and painting a dingy pantry. i though i could live with the pantry, but after getting a steal on some off-white paint (3 gallons for under $20) i decided that i could brighten things up in my walk-in pantry. i actually feel like i may put food in there now!! as soon as the ice mountain melts in front of our old house (conrad and i are actually going to beat on it with metal rods later today) and we move our furniture over, the house will totally be ready to live in. that will be nice to live in the house we bought!! i have to remind myself we've only had the keys 3 weeks, but i'm still eager! i'll post pics of the living room transformation soon, i hope. again, paint can sure change a lot of a room's appearance, i love it!
another fun thing---i'm working tomorrow! i though that my agency had stopped opening on fridays but i talked to a co-worker and she said they changed back to being open fridays. so, i'm filling in for the day. it'll be good to see everyone and to make a few bucks. let's see....anything else positive???? nope, that's all i've got for now.
i told myself i had to post something positive since i haven't felt positive for the last couple of days. i felt like i accomplished a lot in the past few days as far as putting stuff away and painting a dingy pantry. i though i could live with the pantry, but after getting a steal on some off-white paint (3 gallons for under $20) i decided that i could brighten things up in my walk-in pantry. i actually feel like i may put food in there now!! as soon as the ice mountain melts in front of our old house (conrad and i are actually going to beat on it with metal rods later today) and we move our furniture over, the house will totally be ready to live in. that will be nice to live in the house we bought!! i have to remind myself we've only had the keys 3 weeks, but i'm still eager! i'll post pics of the living room transformation soon, i hope. again, paint can sure change a lot of a room's appearance, i love it!
another fun thing---i'm working tomorrow! i though that my agency had stopped opening on fridays but i talked to a co-worker and she said they changed back to being open fridays. so, i'm filling in for the day. it'll be good to see everyone and to make a few bucks. let's see....anything else positive???? nope, that's all i've got for now.
Monday, January 05, 2009
frustration...
i absolutely, positively need to keep this brief. i know there are many things i need to die to that i'm holding on to and need to give to God... my expectations of what my life should be, my "i deserve ______", my bitterness with the in-laws, etc. i wish it was an easier process. i wish that as Christians we would all be to a point where we were dead to ourselves, our own ambitions, expectations, petty differences so we could focus on the big picture. i recently read a book called Church is a Team Sport. i personally think that every person who wants to see growth in the church (no, not current believers getting stronger, though this too is important), needs to read this book. though i've grown up in the church, i was reminded multiple times throughout this book that "we" should not be the focus. our focus needs to be OUTWARD!!! if we can't function in a Christ-like way within the church, how are others going to be drawn to who Jesus really is?? Jesus is not proud, not unloving, not disrespectful. He respected the authority of the Father and only though this was He able to draw people to belief in the truth. i'm sick of the pettiness. okay, better stop.
i absolutely, positively need to keep this brief. i know there are many things i need to die to that i'm holding on to and need to give to God... my expectations of what my life should be, my "i deserve ______", my bitterness with the in-laws, etc. i wish it was an easier process. i wish that as Christians we would all be to a point where we were dead to ourselves, our own ambitions, expectations, petty differences so we could focus on the big picture. i recently read a book called Church is a Team Sport. i personally think that every person who wants to see growth in the church (no, not current believers getting stronger, though this too is important), needs to read this book. though i've grown up in the church, i was reminded multiple times throughout this book that "we" should not be the focus. our focus needs to be OUTWARD!!! if we can't function in a Christ-like way within the church, how are others going to be drawn to who Jesus really is?? Jesus is not proud, not unloving, not disrespectful. He respected the authority of the Father and only though this was He able to draw people to belief in the truth. i'm sick of the pettiness. okay, better stop.
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