a little hope...
it's been a couple of hopeless feeling days. yesterday i called to talk to an NP and an OB and couldn't get in for awhile. i decided i'd try healthwest so i could get in sooner. after 15 minutes of a confusing conversation with a person on the other end who could care less about my problems (not to mention thinking about the stress of coming up with a co-payment for 2 separate visits, etc.), i told her to cancel the appointment i made at the beginning of the conversation and that i'd call back. it was all i could do to not burst into tears on the phone. i bawled to my mom on the phone while she was in winco after she asked if i was having a good day and i responded "no" and burst into tears about wanting a baby and money issues. she said she and my dad wanted to help us out where they could and she prayed a 5 minute prayer calling down the heavens while she was in the middle of the grocery store. my face hurt at the end of the afternoon after all the salt ran down for hours. it was nice to have em and jeff and drew over cuz it made me focus elsewhere for a little while (cleaning, cooking, and hanging out). so where does the hope come in??? well...my dad called this morning and asked what i was up to today. i told him nothing and he said that he called the NP's office and they gave me and appointment for 1:15. it's nice to have someone to pull some strings:) he told me to stop by FM before my appointment to get his credit card for the appointment...thanks, dad! i talked to the NP and she introduced me to the OB that i'll use once i'm pregnant. we talked about options and they were very hopeful and confident. it was nice. first on the agenda for our gameplan is going on clomid (92-94% chance of NOT having multiples...) for a few months. hopefully this will do the trick! we'll see what happens... i'm NOT giving up!!! God has a plan.

"Glory be to God who by his mighty power at work within us

is able to do far more than we could ever dare to ask

or even dream of."

Ephesians 3:20

bummer day...but it sure ended better than it started!...
so it started out notsogood when i realized we'd be on to round 14 of attempted baby-makin'. not only does this mean i writhed on the floor for half the morning wanting to rip out my inards (or go home to Jesus), but it also is always a little depressing/disappointing/etc. i have to try to realign myself with God's truth. he DOES have a plan. easier said than believed sometimes. conrad's at men's retreat so i didn't have him to talk to/hold, which made it harder in a way. i love that man and i NEED him! okay, on to the more uplifting part.....

it all started when i thought i should look for some christian concerts nearby and started googling. david crowder band? nope. big daddy weave (amazing worship concerts! they were on the cruise)? slc, march 26. jeremy camp (my absolute FAVORITE christian artist)?? YES! he'll be on the Rock and Worship Roadshow Tour which will be coming through boise on march 20 (only $10 too!). i almost hyperventilated. i'm still thinking i'll have to take melatonin to sleep tonight. he'll be there with mercyme, tenth avenue north, addison road, and hawk nelson(?). God made my day! i told jeremy on the cruise that he needed to come to idaho. good boy!